Category: growth

yogi berra quote on perfection

Perfection

February 25, 2016

I heard a quote last night when watching NCIS on TV. Special Agent Gibbs quoted Yogi Berra with the following.

"If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be."

Just to be clear, I never heard the quote before and I found it intriguing. I spent some quality time in reflecting upon it.

We’ve all wished the world was perfect. I know I have on many occasions. After all, who wouldn’t want to live in a perfect utopia, where all needs are met and want is nonexistent.

Yet, the more I thought about the quote, the more I realized, he may be correct. Analyzing the comment, I first applied the concept to myself. Then, I applied it to the lady in my life who happens to be the love of my life. After that, I expanded it out to my family, friends, acquaintances, people I don’t know and for that matter, everyone on the planet.

To keep it simple let’s look at it as it applies to myself. After that, just expand my rationale to everyone else.

If the world were perfect, I would have been raised by perfect parents. I would have great relationships with them as well as my siblings. I don’t now but I’ve often wished it. I would also live in a home filled with love. Well I do have that now but that was not always the case. I would have money enough to buy anything I wanted. Oh wait. There would be no want. I already have everything I ever wanted. So why do I need money?

In my career of choice, I’m a computer network technician and software engineer. I’ve enjoyed learning how to manage, program and maintain computer systems. In my personal life, I’ve pursued learning about the arts. I am a decent artist and writer. I learned a long time ago to deal with repair and maintenance on my house, my car and … well whatever I needed to figure out.

In case you’ve not guessed it, I enjoy solving problems and puzzles. However, in this perfect utopian world, there would be no problems in need of solving. There would be no puzzles to piece together. There would be no challenges to overcome. Extrapolating further and applying this to everyone else, we would all be in the same position. All of our wants are met and therefore, we would want for nothing.

How boring!

I can only conclude that if the world was perfect, I would not have a place in it where I was happy. Therefore, can I truly say it’s a perfect world since my world is not perfect. How about you?

I guess I don’t want to live in a perfect world after all. What the hell am I say? Please, someone slap me silly.

Fire Twist wormhole

Chaos

February 19, 2016

I read a quote from Tom Barrett today. He wrote:

"Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth."

This is similar to a concept I’ve lived my entire adult life which I believe comes from a Chinese philosopher millennia ago. I learned it of it in high school.

"Change plus Opportunity equals Growth".

For me, I live by these words. It seems that my life has always been a journey through chaos. Isn’t it for everyone? When I recognized that the chaos brought opportunity, I realized the opportunities were simply a means for growth.

Looking back at the last several decades, and in reviewing my life to date, I appreciate how much my life changed and how far I grew. Sometimes I say to myself “if only I knew then what I know now!” Again, I know everyone wishes that. I would like to think I would have made better choices along the way, kept my mouth shut and gotten laid instead of asking the question “Why are you doing this?” Yup, I asked that question right in the middle of the act where upon, she said “You’re right” and threw me off. Crap.

There were other decisions I made along the way that I’m glad I made them. Falling in love? Yup. Great. Marrying her. Bad decision. Buying my first new car? Awesome, I loved it. Selling same car to pay for the marriage? Awful.

My life is fraught with decisions like this, as most people I suspect enjoy. Earlier I wrote that at times I wished I had made different decisions. Yet, if I had made different decisions, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And I like who I am. I LOVE who I am. I’m happy, even when chaos comes knocking.

There is a one thing I know and it will guide me in my decision-making process the rest of my life. I will never be afraid to make a decision nor fret over it when it turns out to be a bad decision. If I do nothing, I will stagnate and die.

So, throw me the chaos (small doses in you don’t mind). I will then find the opportunity and I will find inner growth and peace of mind.

Concentration

Skinning a cat!

February 7, 2016

They say that there are many ways of skinning a cat. Before I go on, let me just say this. I have no idea why or where this saying came from, nor do I care. However, I believe I understand what the saying is trying to convey. The imagery of the saying popped into my head the moment the following happened.

This morning, on my FB page, I saw an inspirational post that went something like this.

Elementary Nine6 + 3  = 9

but so does 5 + 4 = 9

By extension, so does (8 + 1), (7 + 2), (9 + 0), (3 * 3), (9 * 1), (27 / 3) and so on.

They all equal 9.

Classroom pop quizSo what?

Unless you’re in school and you are doing a test, it’s not the answer that is important. It’s how you got to the answer. It’s the journey. That’s all that matters. The journey starts with the first step.

It’s the journey.

This is Richard Verry, taking his first steps in rewriting a chapter or two for my new book ‘Lucky Bitch’ based upon an inspiration I had last night while I was half asleep.

Stream of consciousness eye

Muses

February 3, 2016

Who is your muse?

As part of the series of interview questions, I was asked these questions. “Who is your muse?” and “Who do you turn to for ideas when you get stuck?”

Stream of consciousness eyeThe answer is complicated but isn’t it always? For me, it depends upon the time frame of my life. Overall, there have been three muses in my life. Two I still use today.

The first was Darlene or Dar for short. Everyone called her Dar. Over a decade ago, Dar helped me learn the techniques to express myself in the visual arts. She started out as a mentor, showing me how to properly put pencil to paper and to put paint to canvas. Over time, we became more than that and we shared much of ourselves with each other. We would bounce ideas off each other, share our artwork and spend other more relaxing activities together. We could communicate on many levels. Over time, I had yet another upheaval in my life and I lost touch with her. There are days when I miss her presence in my life and think of her.

For a long while, I didn’t really have a muse I could turn to ideas from. I did have a girlfriend who thought I did a really could job capturing the human form but in the end, she didn’t help inspire me. I got more ideas from the internet than I did from her. Need I say more?

lips with luscious red lipstickThen I met my current girlfriend who is now my committed partner in life. We share everything, including honesty in our beliefs. I love that about her. I can tell her anything about me. I can tell her my deepest, sometimes darkest, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes she can’t stand to hear some of the stuff that bounces around in my head. However, she is a smart, intelligent lady who can deal with my shit. Most importantly, she allows me the freedom to share and I love that about her. Of course, she can share herself with me in the same way and I strive hard to give her the same satisfaction as she gives me.

The other person whom I look to as my muse is really a good friend. We’ve never shared a bed, nor been more than a good friend to each other. She is in a committed relationship with her husband and I am very happy for her. We have a lot in common. We are both trying to get our individual businesses off the ground. Our problems in that regard are similar but also different. Her business is mostly local and she can directly interact with her customers. Mine is global and I have no idea who most of my customers are.

Yet, when we need to confer, exchange ideas and ask opinions of each other, she is one I will look towards. She thinks like me and we share many of the same interests. My girlfriend is very vanilla and until she met me, had little knowledge of the lifestyle I am close to. My other muse is in the same lifestyle as I am. She appreciates the subtleties of my characters and their development. She understands my characters and what motivates them.

So, when I need to bounce ideas for an entire storyline, I turn to my girlfriend. When I need to confer the subtleties of my characters and their motivations, I turn to my other muse.

Coffee in front of steamy windowLast night, for example, we met for coffee just to catch up. As much as I tried to avoid talking about my next book we somehow migrated to it. I expressed that I thought my main character was too much of a wuss and that she was acting out of character. She helped me with ideas to strengthen her character and bring her back in line with what the storylines expect.

Between the two of them, I have found a happy place. Each have their own perspectives, each offers me great ideas and each stimulate me in ways that neither could image.

Who do you use as a muse as you exercise your talents? I’ve shared with you and I hope you’ll return the favor.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow!

Google Analytics Dashboard for WP

Found a Great Plugin for WP

February 1, 2016

Found a great Word Press plugin. Google Analytics Dashboard for WP. When you this, you will easily see what your customers are doing when they come to your site and from where they come from.

Google Analytics Dashboard for WPI’ve had a Google Analytics Code for some time now. After getting my ducks in a row, so to speak, with getting the framework of my business up, I am now starting to focus on my overall web presence.

Google Analytics is a premier tool to research how your customers are getting to your site and what they do when they get there.

While I’ve had my code a long time, I’ve not been able to figure out how to use it effectively. Enter Google Analytics Dashboard for WP. This plug-in for my site allows me to look at the analytics data collects and displays it in a usable format. It effectively converts data into information.

This information has already opened my eyes to the patterns my visitors behaviors. Such as ‘Bounce Rate’. Mine is way too high over overtime, I can see that I must be doing something right. It’s coming down, slowly but noticeably. Google even offers suggestions on how to tweak my analytics settings to account for my heavy use of blogs etc. They also help with suggestions to reorganize my site to improve the bounce rate.

The plug-in inserts a panel on my admin page that allows me to reorganize the data in a number of different ways. Reviewing this data will take me weeks in order to figure out what I need to do. In between writing new stories, writing a chapter or two, or simply thinking up a new idea for down the road.

Try it out and let me know what you think. I look forward to reading your comments.

Burning chili

Hot Pepper Sauce – a day later

January 18, 2016

Fire hot pepperYesterday, I wrote about my experiences with this nasty hot pepper sauce. Knowing what I know now, I’ll do everything I can to avoid a repeat of that experience. 24 hours later, I still feel the effects of the pepper sauce. My hands still tingle a bit and I have to be careful to NOT touch anywhere around my eyes. Residual oils that I can’t seem to get rid of, still permeate my skin.

However, that is not why I’m writing this note right now. I’m writing to thank everyone who wrote in with tips and suggestions of what to do in the future. Seems the consensus is to use milk. That would have been fine if I ate the sauce. But what about washing, my hands, my eyes and other parts of my body. I still don’t know what the solution is for that. Thank you just the same. I really appreciate it and I sincerely hope I won’t have to deal with that again.

I can tell you that I don’t have milk in the house. I rarely do. But I have coffee creamer, vanilla flavored in fact. Couple that with Kahlua and Vodka and you get a really delicious White Russian. I don’t know which helped more, the creamer or the vodka but by the time I went to bed, I could sleep through the night. I still had to be careful where I put my hands but I woke up this morning feeling much better.

So, I would like to repeat. Should anyone ever want to come over to my house, please … PLEASE, leave the hot sauce at home.

Stand out in a crowd

You sometimes describe yourself as ‘deviant’. If you consider yourself normal, why is that?

January 15, 2016

Let’s go back to Webster’s Dictionary definition of the word.

Deviant def: ‘different from what is considered to be normal or morally correct.’

Now mind you, I say that I am sometimes a deviant from the side of my mouth, in jest. Yet, I do feel that at times. I was raised in a traditional home with  liberal thinking parents and a house full of female siblings. I instinctively know that I think differently from so many people around me. Most of my community, including family and friends, are more traditional in their thinking than I. They are more conservative and middle of the road in their thinking. They aren’t open-minded and appear to be set in their ways.  

Normality, as in the American dream, was what I ever known. Religious, hard working, earning a living  and eating dinner at 6 pm with the family was my norm.

You get the picture.

Stand out in a crowdMe, I don’t subscribe to this view of life. It’s way too ‘vanilla’ for me. I rebelled from this mindset when I became an adult. I believe in whatever makes you happy so long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

I believe in the right to love who you want, sleep with whomever, one on one or more. I believe in monogamy, polygamy and group marriage even though I don’t believe I could deal with the stress of multiple spouses. One is quite enough, thank you very much.

I believe in sharing and loving without reservation. With that, I do have expectations in those whom I love. I believe in polyamorous family units. I believe in same-sex marriage. I believe in being single as well, if it suits you.

I believe in power exchange in adult play among consenting partners.

I believe in doing what’s best for myself, my family and my friends. I believe in giving of myself. I believe that it is okay to have expectations from those you love. They say ‘you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends’. I say you can choose both. If family or friends don’t live up to your expectations and can’t offer you what you need, then I choose to find a new family and new friends.

Not that I live outside society’s norms. I will, however, try to rise above society’s expectations and pull the rest of you along with me, if I can. If I see that you have something to offer to help me rise to greater heights, I will accept whatever gifts you offer in attaining growth and enlightenment.

So to that extent, I consider myself a deviant … also normal.

Red Crystal Hearts Background

Thank you OOPS

January 2, 2016

Thank youOops.

I just realized that I am human too. Alright, you can stop laughing now. I know I am human and I make mistakes. And I made a big one a little while ago.

I was just re-reading my blog, published to thank all of those folks in my life that in some way, contributed to my personal growth this past year. As I was reading it, I realized that I forgot a whole segment of people who I needed to thank.

It is you, my fans and followers. Those who read my blogs every day, those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook. It’s everyone who has read my books and/or posted a review on them. Without you, I wouldn’t be doing this nor would my spirits soar as they do when I hear from you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

So, this entry is for you, my fans and followers. I appreciate all that you do. Thank you.

Perhaps it was the ‘Get off the fucking stage’ music that was running in my head as I was writing my earlier piece. After years of watching award shows and glad for the music, I now realize just how distracting it can be for the person on the stage. I feel for you man! (Oops, I did it again.) I feel for you all, men and women alike. It really is a tough gig and I have a new-found respect for your talents.

So, again, thank you to all of my followers. A big special thank you for those who have taken their valuable time to read my books. Whether you like to read a little or a lot, if you have slotted one of my books into your schedule, taken the time to read it, THANK YOU. If you haven’t yet already, that’s okay. There’s still time. I welcome the opportunity to thank you at a later date.

The books are available, right here on my website, RichardVerry.com or at Amazon, B&N, iBook etc.

2016 gold confetti

As the holiday season winds down.

January 2, 2016

With the holidays winding down and I recover from a bad cold and too much food and drink, I would like to take the opportunity to thank the people who have helped me on my journey this year.21886846_s-Coctail in glass with ice and lemon on black

First off, thank you to the love of my life, Janet. She has put up with a lot of my shit this past year. Even though she grumbles and frets, she knows that I’m no slouch and what I have been trying to do this past year is for her benefit, as well as mine. I love her so much and I appreciate everything she has ever done or will do for me.

I would like to thank my sister Jean for simply believing in me. She struggles to understand and feels remorse when she can’t support me when I ask. I rarely ask Thank youanything of her, just preferring her love. Usually, she is the first in line to help yet this past year, I asked her for something that was important to me. Much to my surprise, she didn’t know how to tell me that she couldn’t and it severely distressed and anguished her. Through her tears, I retracted my request. Our love for each other is more important.

Then there’s Leah. I don’t  remember how I found her yet this fine lady has found a way to boost my confidence and help me grow. She is putting me on the right path to being a successful writer. I’ve never met her but I almost think of her as family.

Then there are those who I consider my best friends these many years who wish to remain nameless in this forum. I look forward to spending time with them soon. One of these friends has been helping me develop my story-lines. Because of her generosity, she is now a recurring character in the next major novel I am writing. She’s a loving, spiritual person who is working hard on her latest business venture. I wish her much success and try to support her as best I can in this endeavor. Another friend is busy working on her upcoming marriage and I know she is there if I need her. I can’t wait to attend her wedding. It will be the highlight of the year.

I’m also thankful to my employer. Anything that needs to be done, I am willing to do. No problemo. I’ve been jobless and hungry before and I never want to experience that ever again.

Happy New Year stars streamers vectorAs I write this, I am realizing that there are many other people who have helped me throughout the past year. I am grateful and very appreciative to all. In my head, I hear the orchestra playing the ‘Get Off the Fucking Stage’ music as if I was giving a speech at an awards ceremony. You get the idea. So in closing, thank you one and all. I hope I get the chance to tell you in person the next time I see you.

Happy New Year! May 2016 be a great one.

To find out more about me and read my blogs, check out my website, RichardVerry.com.

Christmas girl with ornaments

Holidays in Mona’s Realm

December 29, 2015

HOLIDAYS AS THEY RELATE TO MY CHARACTERS

Are there holidays in Mona’s Realm?

Hot Chocolate Warmest HolidaysHolidays are completely different in Mona Bendarova’s world. Introduced in ‘The Taste of Honey’, Mona’s community comes together for monthly and quarterly celebrations. There are no holidays per se commemorating people, specific events or beliefs.

Monthly celebrations are more of a community gathering where people come together and enjoy each other’s company. It’s a time for revelry, entertainment, eating, drinking, and enjoying sex. Seed is spilled and deposited into willing recipients frequently at these celebrations. Most fertile women wake up the following morning happy and pregnant after a night of pleasure. For the rest, they are simply happy and most certainly satiated.

Quarterly celebrations on the other hand are bigger and more involved events. Generally, they follow the seasons, roughly scheduled around the Summer and Winter Solstices plus the Fall and Spring Equinoxes.

The Spring Equinox hails the coming growing season where the community plans to produce the bulk of their non-protein based food. The Summer Solstice salutes the height of the warm sun, long pleasant days and short warm nights. The Fall Equinox celebrates the harvest gathering, giving thanks for what the land has given them despite the atrocities it suffered in the past.

Winter Blonde in White Knit DressThe biggest celebration of the year is the Winter Solstice. This festivity focuses upon hope and joyful reunions for the coming year. It is denoted by enjoying the rich milky way of stars lighting the night skies, providing a backdrop for a magical time of year. The longest night of the year is celebrated by staying warm, enjoying each other’s bodies and conceiving the greatest diversity within the gene pool. Even conceptions in the breeding farms don’t distribute the gene pool as much as what happens at this celebration.

Therefore, celebrations are a holiday in a sense. They provide an opportunity to ensure the survival of the human species. It is a way to enjoy life yet most importantly, to preserve it.

Now, as I reflect upon these celebrations, I can’t help wish that our own holidays follow a similar scenario. Fun and revelry among friends and strangers where sharing joy, pleasure and seed is expected, world-wide? What’s not to like? Not that I expect to see it come to pass in my lifetime but I wonder what our lives might be like sharing similar celebrations. I firmly believe that we would be better off if we divorce ourselves from out petty differences, slice away the personal agendas and welcome our differences as opportunities to grow.

IDIC MedallionAs I write this, I am reminded of the concept ‘IDIC’ introduced by Gene Roddenberry in his original TV series, ‘Star Trek’. ‘IDIC’ stands for Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. I embrace this view of the world. I firmly believe we are better with our differences than without. Rather than homogenizing our species, it’s our differences that allow us to grow stronger.

What do you think? Can we all embrace our differences, enjoy our humanities and love our fellow-man? I do.

Please, share your thoughts with me. I welcome constructive view points, whether I agree with them or not. Perhaps one day, world-wide, we can celebrate a holiday of love, joy and pleasure.