Writing is like sex. First, you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.
— Virginia Woolf, British Writer
Recently, I came across this quote beginning with “Writing is like sex.” Anyone who knows me knows I like sex. I also like to write. Two of my favorite activities all rolled up into one short sentence. So naturally, this quote caught my eye. Who am I to argue with Virginia Woolf?
But then I started thinking about the full context of the quote. I began breaking it down into three components.
Writing is like sex
Hmm, that’s an easy one. I already wrote about the combination above. Of course, there’s more to it.
For me, writing is like sex. When I am in the zone and know in my brain exactly what the scene I’m writing about is, I get that euphoric high that is akin to a good, satisfying orgasm. Most of you out there know what I mean by the high one gets from climaxing. Endorphins flood your bloodstream, and you feel as if you’re leaving your real-life behind. All you can sense is your partner and the euphoria they are giving you.
Today, I thought I would write about how sex sells. In some ways, I wish that weren’t the case. In other ways, I’m pleased that it does.
Is that a paradox? A conflict? A contradiction?
Maybe, but sex sells. Even when I was an adolescent, advertisements depicting a sexy girl, or even just her lingerie, appealed to me. Now, remember, this was in the age before personal computers, and nudie magazines were just getting underway. Yep, I’m dating myself. What I had available to me was the NY Times advertisements for ladies undergarments, National Geographic of back world communities, and Learn how to draw the female figure books.
Since those days, I’ve realized that everything, from selling cars, tobacco, alcohol, or even children’s toys, sex is somehow used to draw in the buyer. For me, and I presume most people across the planet, I tend to skip over ads of just the product, but put a sexy face, hand, body, or whatever, and I pause. This goes for men and women. Remember the Marlboro man? He didn’t interest me, but it did appeal to many of my female friends of the day. Just look at the photo, would any one of these ads cause you to stop for a moment. Of course they would. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t.
So, what is it about the phrase sex sells. I know that marketers are determined to get their audience to give their product the once over. Once someone pauses to check out the product, they know that there is an excellent chance to sell that product to the viewer. It’s mass marketing on a grand scale. If they can get a hundred among a thousand to stop and look at the pretty face in the advertisement, and of those one hundred, one buys the product, they win. Why? Because they advertised to millions.
Do the math. Volume counts and the products sell. You just have to know your audience and your intended target.
Now, how do I apply that to marketing my books, on a shoestring budget? I wish I knew. I am advertising, for sure. Instinctively, I also knew I needed a sexy girl or image on my book covers. Most have the girl; all have the sex. Among the millions of books out there, how do I capture the interest of the person casually perusing shelf after shelf of books? It’s on the cover. It is my primary advertising.
They say, ‘a picture is equal to a thousand words.’ That is so true for me. Is it for you?
I don’t know about you, but I can tell you about me. First off, I group my happiness into two categories, short-term and long-term.
My latest bit of short-term happiness comes from my car. It is a 2017 Camaro 2LT/RS with a few other goodies to go with it. She wears a Hyper Blue Metallic dress over a hot leather interior. Yes, that’s her in the picture. Beautiful, isn’t she?
I named it Miss Molly after the song ‘Devil with a Blue Dress On’ covered by Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels. With six on the floor and on-the-fly modifiable performance modes, she’s a dream to drive and lots of fun to ride.
BTW, I’ve named all my cars over the years with female names, the previous being ‘Alice,’ (nod to Elton John’s ‘All the Girls Love Alice’) a 2014 red Camaro built with similar accoutrements. Over the years, I have had or driven several Camaros and I first fell in love with the car when I bought my very first one. It was a 1974 antique white Camaro Type LT with all the trimmings, including a spoiler, and a dark saddle tan interior. I paid $5,204 for it brand new, right off the showroom floor. Too bad they still don’t go for that kind of money. Her name was Valerie and I’m not going to tell you why, though I bet you can guess why.
As for Miss Molly, I love sliding into her and giving her a ride.
However, I am most interested in writing about what makes me happy in the long-term. In no particular order, they are:
Alone time for painting, drawing, and writing.
Naked female bodies, or as I otherwise say, lover of the female form.
An extraordinary woman to share our combined interests.
Fortunately, I am at a stage in my life where I enjoy all three, which I suppose makes me elated and lucky. I feel that I am, but why do I always want more?
Let’s start with number two in the list. I first learned of my fascination with girls and their bodies back in seventh grade. That would make me about eleven at the time. It was completely unknown to me, but I now know that it was at this stage in my life where I started changing my attitudes towards girls. Of course, at that time, I didn’t understand it. A year later in eighth grade, our teacher arranged our classroom desks in a circle. A girl (Theresa), who sat across from me, would sit with her knees spread wide so that I could see right up under her dress and study the panties covering her privates. I was fascinated, yet young and very, very stupid. Thankfully, I never made a move back then. I think it was also the year that I discovered my father’s stash of nudie’s in the basement where my mother would never find them. From that moment on, I was hooked.
A year later, as a freshman in high-school, and still underage, I perused the magazine stands, trying to work up the courage to buy my first Playboy magazine. I stood there for over an hour before the proprietor of the place asked me “Well, are you going to buy something?” I chickened out and instead, bought my first book on how to sketch the human female body. This was just as good I thought and used it more to master the art of masturbation than to study and learn to draw them. Of course, by this time, I had been practicing masturbation for over two years, but now I had something in hand (forgive the pun) to refine the art. Even to this day, I frequently enjoy it. Perhaps that is why my urologist tells me that I have a perfect prostate. Does daily practice really make perfect in this case?
As the time inevitably drove on, I found myself hooked on studying a woman’s body. I amassed quite a collection of ‘girlie’ magazines, preferring the more tasteful ones over the increasing market of tasteless ones. With the advent of the internet and the freely accessible store of images, I eventually dropped all my subscriptions, which I presume many other men did as well, which in turn started the slide of the modern paper-based ‘girlie’ magazine.
My love of a woman’s body has never once wavered in the decades since. In fact, it’s only grown. No matter what the shape, style, or wrappings, I love them all. I have my favorites of course and I absolutely hate the basketballs that some women insert into their bodies. I like them real, natural, and responsive. I even started reading medical textbooks and other similar books meant to instruct rather than titillate. I learned a lot about the female body and how it works. Even to this day, I strive to learn more about them. I want to find out how they work, inside and out.
As a result, I discovered the mechanics involved with foreplay, the female orgasm, and the after care. Over the years, I practiced with various partners and when I wasn’t in a committed relationship, with several at a time. They taught and I learned. Each taught me more than any book learning could ever have, though I do feel that the books helped make for an easier experience in and out of bed.
Still, I find myself unsatiated. My fascination with a woman’s naked body grows exponentially. I want more and I want to continue studying and practicing the art. And, this is very important, I know with whom I want to share this fascination and experience the joys that come with exploring the human body.
That would be, of course, the love of my life, my girlfriend and life-partner. No, they’re not three different girls, they’re all the same girl, all wrapped up in one fabulous package. I don’t believe I can handle more than one at a time. Too exhausting as she would say. We’ve been together for thirteen years this coming May. I have learned a lot about how her mind and body works. Although … I know that I don’t know it all. I know I am missing much that I cannot learn by reading books, looking at porn, or studying medical manuals. I desire and intend to rectify that with lots of practice. Perhaps within the next thirteen years, I will become satisfied.
However, to tell you the truth, I hope I do not. I have always had an insatiable desire to learn and grow. I don’t know what I would do with myself if I lose that desire. I will always want to learn more about what makes her tick. It’s a real shame that I am growing older, and my body doesn’t work as it once did in my teens and early twenties. If only I knew then what I know now, how much more would I be able to learn? And oh, how I would practice. Afterall, doesn’t practice makes perfect?
Next time, I will expound upon my need for drawing, painting, and writing. Lastly, I will write about my need to share life and experiences with an extraordinary woman.
In the meantime, have a great day and a better tomorrow, perhaps in bed with your favorite partner(s).
Click on the book cover to take you right to my web page for the book.
You can read the first chapter for free before you decide to get your own copy and read the story. It’s available in all eBook formats as well as in pdf. If you’re not comfortable with eBooks, early next year, I will make available a printed version of the book.
If you liked my ‘Her Client’ series and ‘The Breakup,’ you will love this story. Pure fiction, this story follows the development of a young, intelligent woman in her mid-twenties, who is caught up in an unexpected life of love, happiness, sadness, anger, pain, and anguish.
It’s the gritty, gripping, disturbing, and even terrifying tale of a woman who unintentionally catches the eye of an international human trafficking ring. After being snatched off the streets, she is auctioned off to the highest bidder where she learns to live a life as a slave, suffering torment at the hands of her master, while still finding peace, joy, happiness and possibly finding the love of her life.
The question is, can she survive long enough to escape, assuming she still wants to?
You can only get a copy from my site. I’m experimenting with this book, seeing if I can raise interest in my works without paying exorbitant royalties to the various retailers.
Yesterday, Saturday, did in fact turn out fantastic. Except for my ongoing, continuous headache, I couldn’t be more pleased. I am trusting that today will be more of the same, regardless of the weather, sun and heat. Whatever it turns out to be, I’m ready for a glorious day. Perhaps I’ll go see a movie?
Over the past month, I have been posting portions of an interview I gave several months back. Frankly, I was happy to transcribe portions into my blog. It not only helps my readers to more fully understand the basis of the books I write but it’s been helping me get back into sync with these stories. I have many more planned and I need ways to keep them fresh in my mind.
Starting tomorrow, I will be posting a number of smaller snippets from the interview. Generally, they are short answers to individual questions that move from topic to topic. I hope you enjoy them. Look forward to them starting Monday.
As always, I look forward to your comments. Please feel free to write me and let me know what you think. I always enjoy reading them.
Feel free to comment and agree or dispute my opinions. I love a challenge. Till next time, have a great day!