Working Hard

All my life I have strived to do better, improve myself, help the community, love my family, and cherish my significant other. It’s hard work but it’s easy work as well. Seems like a contradiction, doesn’t it? I don’t see it that way. Take for example, the quote I just found.

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”

Working HardWhen I read this, I didn’t need to study it. My mind instantly went to points in my life where I felt each of these emotions. I’ve had my stresses in my life but once I’m past them, I tend to forget about them. The feelings remain but the facts fade. I guess I do that as a way of protecting myself and staying healthy.

Most poignantly are the passions in my life. Building a shelf, lashing a complicated structure to protect life and limb, painting a portrait to get it just right, writing and rewriting a piece of dialog for a story; these are all passions I love.

I pour my heart and soul into my passions. My girlfriend and significant other is the most important passion in my life. I tend to put aside other passions in order to do for her. Helping others, even the little things, is also important to me. Whether it’s offering a drink to a house guest, helping someone find their lost keys, or helping someone in distress, I do with the love of passion.

When I put aside time to work on my creative works, my passions really come alive. I recall and relive those feelings. I get lost in the creative process. Even now, as I write this entry, my body and soul are coming alive as these feelings flood every nook and cranny.

Time seems to slow or even stop. Adrenaline floods my body, my mind focuses on the work and everything else disappears. It’s a wonderful feeling. In my mind, I go somewhere else. Just ask anyone who has observed me in this state. I’m gone from this world and I’m in another world. I’m so far gone, that it frustrates my girlfriend to no end. Whether she wants to make dinner, spend time with me, or just ask my opinion, she finds it hard to break in. When I finally acknowledge the interruption, I can get upset, even angry. I lose my train of thought. I lose my mojo.

I don’t mean it. I would prefer to not snap and get upset. She doesn’t deserve the response and she tries to be patient but at times, not. Sorry honey. Together, we work it out, make adjustments and move forward.

Yet, I can’t get away from this alternate reality I go to in my mind when I’m creating, painting or writing. It’s fun. It’s addicting. It’s a far better alternative to prefering alcohol, drugs or just being a dickwad.

I can’t wait to re-enter the zone of my passions. What about you? What are your passions that you love.

Leave a trail

Good morning all you readers out there. I had a long and tiring weekend but today I’m refreshed and happy. I spent Friday night with friends who cooked us a fine meal and engaged me with spirited conversation well into the night. Saturday, I went to a wedding at the ball park. After the wedding, the reception was held in one of the ball park suites where a battle raged on the field. After the game, I were treated to fireworks. I’ll bet that there aren’t too many people who can honestly say that they had fireworks on their wedding night.

Not that kind! Well, that too but I am referring to the kind where gun powder is fired into the air which explodes into a multitude of light and sonic boomers. I had a wonderful time. Sunday was recovery day. I was wiped out and I needed to rest and recover.

But I digress. I read a cool quote this morning which I’d like to share with you.

“Do no go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Reading this quote, I was hit with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, following the path is easy. It’s what is expected. Fall in line, conform, and do as your told. I know that my girlfriend would welcome this from me, at least, some of the time. Yet, one of the reasons she loves me is that I do blaze my own trail. I go my own way. I forage ahead and damn the consequences.

Leading Line To The Kyoto GatesAdmittedly, I’ve gotten into trouble on a number of occasions and paid a price for my independence. Yet, it is who I am. One thing I’ve learned in life is that to be happy with myself, I have to be who I am. If I’m not happy with me and who I am, how the f**k can I make someone else happy.

So, I walk where there is no path. I am enjoying this period of discovery. It’s filled with wonder and joy. True, I make a wrong turn now and then and I need to back track a bit. So what. It’s a learning experience. What I still need to figure out is how to leave a trail. I do so in my professional life. Yet, I need to figure out how to leave a more lasting trail in my personal life.

I have talent for doing things. Whether it is hanging a TV on the wall so it won’t fall off or grilling a steak to perfection, I manage to do things in creative ways that people appreciate, or so they tell me. Yet, it is not enough. I want to more. I want to blaze a trail for others to enjoy.

Which is why I write and paint. I can express myself in ways that is impossible to do in real life. Perhaps some of my creative works will survive my life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Can you imagine? What if a hundred years from now, some picks up one of my books and reads it, or stumbles across one of my paintings and says, “Wow!”

What would Mona think? Would she enjoy someone reading her story well after her author moved on? I think she would. There is a lot of me in Mona.

What about you? What do you think?

You sometimes describe yourself as ‘deviant’. If you consider yourself normal, why is that?

Stand out in a crowd

Let’s go back to Webster’s Dictionary definition of the word.

Deviant def: ‘different from what is considered to be normal or morally correct.’

Now mind you, I say that I am sometimes a deviant from the side of my mouth, in jest. Yet, I do feel that at times. I was raised in a traditional home with  liberal thinking parents and a house full of female siblings. I instinctively know that I think differently from so many people around me. Most of my community, including family and friends, are more traditional in their thinking than I. They are more conservative and middle of the road in their thinking. They aren’t open-minded and appear to be set in their ways.  

Normality, as in the American dream, was what I ever known. Religious, hard working, earning a living  and eating dinner at 6 pm with the family was my norm.

You get the picture.

Stand out in a crowdMe, I don’t subscribe to this view of life. It’s way too ‘vanilla’ for me. I rebelled from this mindset when I became an adult. I believe in whatever makes you happy so long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

I believe in the right to love who you want, sleep with whomever, one on one or more. I believe in monogamy, polygamy and group marriage even though I don’t believe I could deal with the stress of multiple spouses. One is quite enough, thank you very much.

I believe in sharing and loving without reservation. With that, I do have expectations in those whom I love. I believe in polyamorous family units. I believe in same-sex marriage. I believe in being single as well, if it suits you.

I believe in power exchange in adult play among consenting partners.

I believe in doing what’s best for myself, my family and my friends. I believe in giving of myself. I believe that it is okay to have expectations from those you love. They say ‘you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends’. I say you can choose both. If family or friends don’t live up to your expectations and can’t offer you what you need, then I choose to find a new family and new friends.

Not that I live outside society’s norms. I will, however, try to rise above society’s expectations and pull the rest of you along with me, if I can. If I see that you have something to offer to help me rise to greater heights, I will accept whatever gifts you offer in attaining growth and enlightenment.

So to that extent, I consider myself a deviant … also normal.

2016 May it be a great one!

Countdown to 2016

2016 scratched in sand2016 A great one to come?

You’ll note that the image I’ve used for this post is one where the year is scratched into the sand.

It’s beach sand and I wonder, will it be washed away from the surf, scraped away by some angry foot or harden and turn to stone for all eternity.

I wish that 2016 will be a superb year, filled with promise and hope for the future of our species. If anything, the past several years makes me wonder whether we as a species will be around a millennium from now. I wonder. There seems to be so much hate in the world, closed-minded people who insist that everyone believe and act as they do, whether we as a species can surmount these challenges and boldly move forward into the 21st century.

Girl with Santa hat in forestEven if we do survive to the 22nd and 23rd centuries, what will they say about our current period on this planet. I can’t help wonder that they would say “Just how the hell did the species survive?”

Mona and Honey live sometime in the next millennium, 35th century perhaps, and somehow, their community has figured out a way to accept each other for whom they are. They are opened minded enough to realize that all members of our species have something to contribute to society as a whole.

Let’s see if we can emulate their example and accept that each of us, have something to contribute to the global community.

If you have a greeting or a wish you wish to extend to someone, please feel free to share it here. I’ll be happy to repost it to all of my followers. In the meantime, may 2016 be a great one for you.

As 2015 winds down

New Year journal

Countdown to 2016As 2015 gives way to 2016

As the year 2015 winds down and as we prepare to welcome 2016, I plan on remembering both the good and the bad that happened in my life this past year.

If there is any one thing I’ve learned this past year, it’s that our failures as well as our successes that make me the person I am today. Those experiences will also shape the person I will become tomorrow.

As we celebrate this new year, it is my sincerest wish that our celebrations are done with love, compassion and fellowship with our neighbors, both near and far. Even if they live on the other side of the globe, we all deserve the respect of being who we are.

If you are looking for a New Year’s Resolution, I would offer you this one.

Find a way to accept your neighbor into your heart, regardless of their race, sex, nationality or religious belief.