Whirlwind nearly over, part 4

One's Home is their CastleThey say one’s home is their castle. I can’t help wonder about the truth in the statement.

The home I used to live in, the one I recently sold and moved from, used to be my castle. I loved my home. I did not envision leaving it any time soon. In fact, I was sure I would still be living there at least six more years. Instead, it’s now sold to new owners. Someone else is living with all of the upgrades I did along the way as well as with its issues that all homes have. It’s their castle now.

What I don’t understand is why I have moved on as I have. I have no interest in driving by to see what the new owners are doing. I heard from my moving company that the very same crew I used to move out was contract to move the new owners in. Small world? No, I don’t think so. I suspect how that happened and I don’t think it was a coincidence. It’s a local firm, not a national chain with a very good reputation in the area. Moving with a peace of mind http://sheridanbrothersmoving.com/ If you are moving, local or not and live in my area, check them out.

My new home is my castle now. It’s a nice home and I’m sure one day, I’ll come to love it as I did the old one. Sure, I love this home but as in all relationships, its different. I still don’t understand all its subtleties, all the things that make it unique and different from another house. Like a lover. You love your current partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. You love them deeply and would do anything for them. They are the best part of your life and complete you in ways that you want and desire. Yet, that does mean you didn’t love your previous lover any less. Just differently. Regardless of how or why you have a new lover, your love for them was just as deep. It was just different. At least, this is how I see the world. Perhaps you do to.

ghost in the haunted castleSo, I have a new home. It’s my castle. I love it now and as time goes by, I’m confident that I will love it more. For better or worse, it’s my castle and I’ve pleased to be sharing it with my lover, partner and best friend. Love you maggical.

Now, for those of you that know my perversion for Halloween, whatever am I going to do to celebrate Halloween?

Whirlwind nearly over, part 3

Last time, I wrote about springing the surprise of my move on a dear friend and his wife. Though the move is officially over and I am living in my new home for a couple of weeks, it’s not really over. There are too many boxes left to be unpacked, window treatment to hang, furniture to deal with, and a plethora of other things to do. Most of my friends, (that being my books and artwork), are still packed away. Very little is hanging on the walls and there is still much to do.

The worst part?

I can’t find a damn thing. Well, that’s not completely true but it feels that way. Take for example, my favorite keyboard for this computer I’m writing on. I CAN’T F’ing FIND IT! So, I’m using a spare which I don’t like but I normally have attached to another computer I keep hooked up in the basement that handles my backups. Which BTW, that computer is not hooked up either. Other than lights and one utility outlet next to the circuit breaker box, there are no outlets to give it life. I need to get an electrician in to wire up the place.

But I can’t do that either right now! I don’t know how I want to utilize the space. There are still boxes galore to sort, organize and empty. It’s a problem for sure but a good problem. I foresee me being happy in this new home for many years to come.

There was one bit of good news which happened yesterday. My hot tub is now hooked up, filled with water, and today I’m going hot tubing. My body feels ravaged from this whirlwind of a move. Every bone and muscle in my body feels like I’ve been working out at the gym for hour after hour all day, everyday for over a month. My back is sore, my shoulders ache and even my ass hurts. Not from sitting mind you. Sitting doesn’t help that either. Rather, it’s aches and pain that radiate out from my ass down the back of my legs. My hamstrings and calves feel the brunt of the aches but every now and then, a shooting pain jumps from my ass and shoots right down the back of my left leg. Yeow!

Be Relaxed, Be Renewed, Be RestoredTo help restore my body, I went to my favorite masseuse and got a full body, deep tissue massage. Relaxing MassageI knew I screwed my body up something fierce during the heyday of the move. Was I ever right. Tammy, my masseuse whom I highly recommend, runs her own business BeMassageAndWellness.com. She found damage that I didn’t even know about. She found a problem in my right shoulder that was so bad, she worked on it for much of the session. She found the same issue on my left shoulder as well, only not as bad. When she was working on my left hamstring, it felt like she was digging a hole deep into the earth, even though she was barely pressing with her magic fingers.

I routinely see her but I must admit, I skipped a couple of months due to the move. I guess I should have listened to her. What I like best about her, is that she follows up the following day, asking me, how do I feel. Such service is rare and extremely appreciated. So, if I may. If you are in need of a talented, caring, and professional masseuse, you can’t go wrong with booking a session with Tammy. She’s a hero in my book.

Till next time when I expect to wrap up this little experience, I hope you have a great day and a better tomorrow.

Whew! Whirlwind nearly over

Apologies to all my followers. I know I have been quiet of late, posting updates on an irregular schedule. It’s been a whirlwind during the last month or so. You see, I’ve moved my home.

Not that my home is on wheels and I can just drive it down the road. No, I sold my old house and bought a new one. I thought the whole thing would happen over a number of months. That was not to be. Instead, it all happened within the space of under a single month.

24889758_sLast January, I put in an offer on a new home which was accepted. So far, so good. The house closed at the end of March and I was free to begin moving in. Figuring I had time enough, I planned the move to happen over six weeks, taking my time, staging the old one and being out of my old one long before I needed to be when the new owners took possession.

The day after I closed on my new home, the old home was put on the market. Within 24 hours, a single showing and little time to breathe, I received a FULL CASH non-contingent offer with closing to happen in only a few weeks. If it wasn’t for the lawyers involved, it might have been done even sooner. Thank you lawyers, at least you gave me time to get everything in place.

So then I had a big problem. A good problem for sure, who wouldn’t want CASH up front. It’s a beautiful thing. Over the next two weeks, I had to pack up the rest of the house, get the hell out, and move all the stuff that goes with one’s domicile.

7180364_sI’m pleased to report that I am now safely in my new home, still unpacking, and still settling in. Organizing the move has been the only thing on my mind for over a month now. I’ve barely written 2000 words in any of my stories in all that time. My internet service had been discounted for several days as well. By the end of each day, I was exhausted, worn out, and barely functional to eat a meal. Too many restaurants of late, nearly falling asleep in my dinner plate. Thank you all you restaurant workers and servers for taking care of me during this time.

I hope to get back to writing soon. I have the start of my new office in the works, a new writing desk, and a new coffee mug labeled ‘Go Away, I’m Writing’ which was a sweet gift from my girlfriend and life partner. I hope to get back to more consistent writing soon. I’ll take a picture of my new office soon. There are still so many boxes to unpack, finding homes for all the little things that make me feel warm and comfortable.

In the meantime, I’m going to try hard to resume more consistent blogging and keeping you updated. In my next blog, I hope to give you more insights into why I didn’t mention this move sooner. I had a wicked thought but you’ll have to wait to find out what that was.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow.

Please Shut Up! Huh?

I read a blog post this morning by author Delilah S. Dawson. I found it quite interesting and I think you will too. I encourage you to read it. Here’s the link to the post.

http://www.whimsydark.com/blog/2015/4/13/please-shut-up-why-self-promotion-as-an-author-doesnt-work

She writes about the difference in pushing a book upon the audience and pulling them to the book. She makes a lot of sense. It’s a lesson I am slowly learning. In reading her commentary, I couldn’t help but smile and agree. My social media feeds are full of book covers, promotions and statements that boil down to one message. BUY ME. Sorry, but like Delilah, I skip right over them as I scroll across my feeds. About the only time I stop and look is to study the message and see if there is something in it to pull me in. I’m usually disappointed and move on.

For me, the single most important line in Delilah’s post is:

“The recipe seems to be GREAT BOOK + HARD WORK + TIME + LUCK.”

I can control three out of four of them and I hope I am lucky enough to rise enough to be truly noticed.

I will be the first to admit, that I’m not very good budgeting my time with my writing. I spend way too much time screwing around trying to make a name for myself, promoting my stories and I am not spending enough time writing the stories that I really love. I have outlines for more than a dozen waiting to be written. Argggghhhhh.

I must do something about that. I need to get back to creative writing.

Case in point.

Until recently, I promoted my ‘Mona Bendarova Adventures’ much in the way Delilah hates. They didn’t sell. Watching their performance, I found that my efforts were wasted and might have even pushed my audience away from me. I pulled the promotions altogether.

Another series of books I wrote, ‘Her Client Trilogy’, sell well enough to make me smile. Sales are not fantastic, in fact, they are mediocre when compared to my favorite authors. Yet, to me, they make me happy. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t seen multiple sales of the books. Whoo hoo!

The funny thing is, which surprises me to no end, I do no promotion of the books. They sell on many platforms, all over the world. What I know is that they are a product of ‘Hard Work’, a ‘Good Story’, and lots of ‘Time’ writing and polishing the stories.

I am still trying to figure out the formula. I suspect that as soon as I do, the formula will have already changed.

So, I’m going back to writing, creatively and writing what I love.

Inspiration from Mark Twain

I recently came across this quote from Mr. Clemens and it gave me pause to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he is so right.

“The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” — Mark Twain

However, I find it difficult to find the right word at times. The thesaurus is my best friend. I keep it handy and refer to it many times as I write. I scour on-line versions as well as a printed copy. I jump from word to word searching for the right one.

And yet, after racking my brain, time and time again, I sometimes can’t find just the right word to convey the meaning I want. When I get stuck, I’ll ask those around me. Otherwise, I’ll tag it and put it off until later.

Does this happen to you? If so, what do you do to get around it? I would love to read your comments on this topic. In the meantime, have a great day and keep on writing!

Sleep Loss Dumbs You Down

Lately, I’ve not been sleeping through the night. Try as I might, I wake up for good between 4 and 4:30 a.m. Over the past year, I’ve been doing okay, but this last week, not so good, and I’m at a loss. I have no significant stress in my life. Life is good. I have no worries to deal with or other such crap. In fact, up until this past weekend, I’ve been writing, reading, doing well at work and performing my annual winter cleaning of the house. As I wrote above, life is good.

So, why this week, can I only get four to five hours sleep? Beats me.

How is this effecting me?

I wake up, lie in bed trying to fall back. No good. I get up, shower and dress, go to work. I’m doing my job, albeit, I’m not firing on all cylinders. That is, I’m not up to my usual efficiency.

I get home and I can’t get my mindset in a creative mode. I can’t write, I can’t draw, I can’t even plan dinner. And oh, I have the munchies. This is new for me. I don’t understand it. I know that my stomach if fine, but my brain keeps telling my mouth to eat. What’s that all about anyway?

I did some more research on sleep deprivation. After reading about all of the usual stuff, I stumbled on this page from WebMD. #2 on the list refers to ‘Sleep Loss Dumbs You Down’.

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/10-results-sleep-loss

"Sleep plays a critical role in thinking and learning. Lack of sleep hurts these cognitive processes in many ways. First, it impairs attention <check>, alertness <√>, concentration <√>, reasoning <√>, and problem solving <√>. This makes it more difficult to learn efficiently. During the night, various sleep cycles play a role in 'consolidating' memories in the mind. If you don't get enough sleep, you won't be able to remember what you learned and experienced during the day <√>."

Everyone of these points is how I feel right now. The trick is, what to do about it.

Number 4 on the list is the worst. “Lack of Sleep Kills Sex Drive”. I don’t need to read that blurb to know exactly what they are about to report. I’m feeling it and for a writer and painter that dabbles in erotica, this is awful. How can I capture on paper or canvas a sex scene if I can ‘t feel it myself.

The rest of the article goes on with the other effects of lack of sleep. So, that to do about it?

  • Block out adequate nighttime sleep period? <√>
  • Keep distractions out of bed? (Reserve your bed for sleep and sex.) <√> (Hard but doable.)
  • Set a consistent wake-up time? <√>
  • Gradually move to an earlier bedtime? <√>
  • Set consistent, healthy mealtimes? <√>
  • Exercise? (ok, I need to work more on this despite the fact that I was sleeping better before this week.)
  • De-clutter your schedule? <√>
  • Don’t go to bed until you’re sleepy? <√> (Trouble is, I’m sleepy even now, first thing in the morning.)
  • Don’t nap late in the day? <√>
  • Create a relaxing bedtime ritual? <√>
  • Avoid “nightcaps”? <√> (Well, in desperation, I tried a glass of red wine to see if it would help. Not so much.)

Am I depressed? No. Sleep apnea? Yes but it’s been successfully treated for three years now. PTSD and Anxiety? No, at last I don’t believe so.

Maybe I need more than a single glass of wine. I’m also thinking about a new mattress. As nice as the one I have is, it is getting on in years and I’ve slept on hotel ones that are much better. What I will not do is use a pill.

If any one has any ideas, I would love to hear about them. Write me, comment on this post, whatever. I need to get back to creative writing. If I don’t, I’ll go nuts anyway.

What Inspires You

In the wee hours of the early morning, I laid in bed, my mind racing with non-contiguous thoughts. Trying as I might to fall back asleep, my thoughts kept coming back to the word ‘Inspiration’.

First, I kept thinking what inspires me. I also thought about the definition of the word. Jumping around, I landed on thoughts of topics in everyday life that might inspire me, inspire you or just inspire anybody. At times, I thought about those posters that companies put up to inspire and motivate their workforce.

As the night slowly moved to morning, I decided to write a blog on the subject. But what specific might I write about that would be of interest to you, the reader? As a result, I put off writing this blog until I could answer that question. Since I don’t know you, let me tell you about what inspires me and try to integrate that into what your inspirations might be. I don’t know any other way to say it. Therefore, here we go.

So, what does inspire me? Everyday life, events in the news, porn, family, friends, work, my career and everyday conversations with my people of all types and relationships. It can be an ad on television or a memory from my childhood.

I’ve written in the past that my mind is constantly filled with thousands of images that flies through my noggin, bounces around a bit before being replaced another. This happens on a daily basis. The ones I find interesting, I try to capture for later followup. Many of those never see the light of day. But those that do, become inspiration for follow-up study and potential implementation into a story or painting.

The problem is, with so many sources to draw from, I have to be careful to use that latest image is inspiration for something unique and creative. In other words, I have to very careful not to plagiarise the idea and duplicate someone else’s creative work. It’s hard but I strive hard to make it happen.

I’m also a perfectionist with my craft. In my paintings, I like realism. I like to make my compositions look as real as possible, even if the subjects are magical and mystical creatures or devices that could not exist in real life. In my stories, I spend a lot of time researching my idea and searching for other works to see if it has already been done. As I write, I keep careful notes to ensure that physical characteristics and experiences of my characters remain consistent. I don’t want to write that a character is tall in one chapter only to be short in a later chapter.

Then, be it a painting or a story, once the work is done, I review and scan and check to make sure that every detail is accounted for, every word is the right word to use in intended context. Is it the right color, perspective or composition. Do I need to rewrite this segment, repaint that corner or what have you.

Be it paintings or stories, it is this editing that important to me. I hate putting out inferior products. Even in my work, I write programs etc. The actual coding is only 30% of the software coding. The rest is planning and testing. The same goes for my painting or writing. I plan about 30% of the composition, I write or paint for another 30% or so and the rest is in the polishing.

In researching this blog, I came across the following quote by Johannes Brahms.

"Without craftsmanship, inspiration is a mere reed shaken in the wind."

I like that because I lean towards the craftsmanship. Every stroke of the brush, every letter of every word, is meticulously placed to achieve my desired goal. At some point, the project must end, mistakes and all otherwise nothing would ever be finished. I strive hard to be better at my craft. I strive to make a new work be better than the last. Most importantly, I’m not afraid to make a mistake. It is my mistakes that allow me to grow and improve.

So, how does all this relate to you, my reader. I honestly don’t know. I’m only trying to understand you through what is important to me. If what inspires you also inspires me, then we can make a connection. I feel that we already have something in common, else you wouldn’t be reading this. So, tell me, what inspires you? I really want to know.

Till next time, this is Richard Verry, spewing out thoughts that will hopefully help me understand what makes you tick. As I travel this road of inspiration, I hope I meet you and together, share ideas. Till next time, have a great day.

Perfection

I heard a quote last night when watching NCIS on TV. Special Agent Gibbs quoted Yogi Berra with the following.

"If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be."

Just to be clear, I never heard the quote before and I found it intriguing. I spent some quality time in reflecting upon it.

We’ve all wished the world was perfect. I know I have on many occasions. After all, who wouldn’t want to live in a perfect utopia, where all needs are met and want is nonexistent.

Yet, the more I thought about the quote, the more I realized, he may be correct. Analyzing the comment, I first applied the concept to myself. Then, I applied it to the lady in my life who happens to be the love of my life. After that, I expanded it out to my family, friends, acquaintances, people I don’t know and for that matter, everyone on the planet.

To keep it simple let’s look at it as it applies to myself. After that, just expand my rationale to everyone else.

If the world were perfect, I would have been raised by perfect parents. I would have great relationships with them as well as my siblings. I don’t now but I’ve often wished it. I would also live in a home filled with love. Well I do have that now but that was not always the case. I would have money enough to buy anything I wanted. Oh wait. There would be no want. I already have everything I ever wanted. So why do I need money?

In my career of choice, I’m a computer network technician and software engineer. I’ve enjoyed learning how to manage, program and maintain computer systems. In my personal life, I’ve pursued learning about the arts. I am a decent artist and writer. I learned a long time ago to deal with repair and maintenance on my house, my car and … well whatever I needed to figure out.

In case you’ve not guessed it, I enjoy solving problems and puzzles. However, in this perfect utopian world, there would be no problems in need of solving. There would be no puzzles to piece together. There would be no challenges to overcome. Extrapolating further and applying this to everyone else, we would all be in the same position. All of our wants are met and therefore, we would want for nothing.

How boring!

I can only conclude that if the world was perfect, I would not have a place in it where I was happy. Therefore, can I truly say it’s a perfect world since my world is not perfect. How about you?

I guess I don’t want to live in a perfect world after all. What the hell am I say? Please, someone slap me silly.

Muses

Who is your muse?

As part of the series of interview questions, I was asked these questions. “Who is your muse?” and “Who do you turn to for ideas when you get stuck?”

Stream of consciousness eyeThe answer is complicated but isn’t it always? For me, it depends upon the time frame of my life. Overall, there have been three muses in my life. Two I still use today.

The first was Darlene or Dar for short. Everyone called her Dar. Over a decade ago, Dar helped me learn the techniques to express myself in the visual arts. She started out as a mentor, showing me how to properly put pencil to paper and to put paint to canvas. Over time, we became more than that and we shared much of ourselves with each other. We would bounce ideas off each other, share our artwork and spend other more relaxing activities together. We could communicate on many levels. Over time, I had yet another upheaval in my life and I lost touch with her. There are days when I miss her presence in my life and think of her.

For a long while, I didn’t really have a muse I could turn to ideas from. I did have a girlfriend who thought I did a really could job capturing the human form but in the end, she didn’t help inspire me. I got more ideas from the internet than I did from her. Need I say more?

lips with luscious red lipstickThen I met my current girlfriend who is now my committed partner in life. We share everything, including honesty in our beliefs. I love that about her. I can tell her anything about me. I can tell her my deepest, sometimes darkest, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes she can’t stand to hear some of the stuff that bounces around in my head. However, she is a smart, intelligent lady who can deal with my shit. Most importantly, she allows me the freedom to share and I love that about her. Of course, she can share herself with me in the same way and I strive hard to give her the same satisfaction as she gives me.

The other person whom I look to as my muse is really a good friend. We’ve never shared a bed, nor been more than a good friend to each other. She is in a committed relationship with her husband and I am very happy for her. We have a lot in common. We are both trying to get our individual businesses off the ground. Our problems in that regard are similar but also different. Her business is mostly local and she can directly interact with her customers. Mine is global and I have no idea who most of my customers are.

Yet, when we need to confer, exchange ideas and ask opinions of each other, she is one I will look towards. She thinks like me and we share many of the same interests. My girlfriend is very vanilla and until she met me, had little knowledge of the lifestyle I am close to. My other muse is in the same lifestyle as I am. She appreciates the subtleties of my characters and their development. She understands my characters and what motivates them.

So, when I need to bounce ideas for an entire storyline, I turn to my girlfriend. When I need to confer the subtleties of my characters and their motivations, I turn to my other muse.

Coffee in front of steamy windowLast night, for example, we met for coffee just to catch up. As much as I tried to avoid talking about my next book we somehow migrated to it. I expressed that I thought my main character was too much of a wuss and that she was acting out of character. She helped me with ideas to strengthen her character and bring her back in line with what the storylines expect.

Between the two of them, I have found a happy place. Each have their own perspectives, each offers me great ideas and each stimulate me in ways that neither could image.

Who do you use as a muse as you exercise your talents? I’ve shared with you and I hope you’ll return the favor.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow!

Yesterday’s post and today’s reality

Yesterday, I wrote a post about learning how to fish. I had lots of great feedback on the post. I trust I get better with each one. I wish I could duplicate it for today’s commentary but for the moment, that’s not possible.

Gray cloud layerI apologize but right now, I can’t. Sorry but I’ll pick up as soon as possible. Right now, I’m under the weather and definitely not feeling well. This past Monday, I received a vaccination. Normally, people have minimal reaction to this particular vaccination. But, oh no, not me!

My arm has been ballooning up at the injection site. It is red and sore. All day yesterday and last night, I’ve felt like I’ve had a fever even though I haven’t. I realize my body is fighting the live form of the virus the vaccination injected into me on Monday. It doesn’t make me feel better.

Logic in this case is of no help at all. The analogy I can make is this. Just as I have been learning to fish in writing blurbs and other marketing material, my body is learning how to fish in fighting this bug coursing through my blood stream. I just hope that when I’m feeling better, I can return to my blogging and maintain the quality that Leah and others have been teaching me.

For now, I hope I can make it through the day. Be well everyone and be safe.

This is Richard Verry, signing off and yearning for my bed so that I can sleep it off.