Category: growth

Thaumaturgy

Followup to ‘How do I think of these things’

April 14, 2017

Followup to ‘How do I think of these things’

In my last article, I wrote about how I come up with my ideas for my books. I received several comments from people who read my books. I found them interesting.

The first comment comes from a reader who read my first book, ‘The Taste of Honey.’ At the time, this reader wrote me and, if I recall correctly, told me she had a hard time with the story. She considered herself to be a traditional, conservative person and didn’t read all that much. However, a friend turned her onto the book and while struggling with the storyline, discovered an underlying unexpected love story that she loved. It turned her around, and she eventually wrote a compelling five-star review.

The following is what I received in response to the article.

“I found it insightful as well as a confirmation of what I already felt in my heart was the way you find your inspirations. I’ve always believed you to be intelligent and extremely creative. It’s nice to see you finding the right outlet for that creativity (of which you do so well!).” jb

Apparently, she knows me well, and yes, I am acquainted with this person.

Another reader sent me this comment.

“It’s hard to understand how you can write that in such detail and emotion. And, not wonder about you. […] After reading your statements and seeing that your girlfriend felt the same way, I think I feel much better. Maybe, lol.” gd

Her Client Trilogy StackedI am only just becoming acquainted with this reader, having recently received several comments and messages regarding my ‘Her Client’ trilogy. After reading the first book, she contacted with a note indicating how much she liked it. After reading the second book, I received a second comment expressing the need “… to think about this one?” implying that the story might have been a bit over the top for her. [No surprise. This book is intentionally horrific and deals with the real monsters among us.] Her followup to this comment to this book inspired me to write my previous article. The last I heard, the reader was just starting the third book, ‘Her Essentia.’ I have little doubt that she will send me an additional note.

Interestingly enough, the ‘Her Client’ books are my best sellers. I never expected that to happen. As a result, those are the kinds of books I will continue to focus on as I write.

The Trafficking ConsortiumI received many comments on the article. I hope it helps you understand where I am coming from and where I am going. My stories don’t come from personal experiences. Rather, they come from observation and wondering, “what if …”.

That’s how my latest book, ‘The Trafficking Consortium’ came to life. I was at my doctor’s office and as I sat in the waiting room, wondered “what if someone behind the counter and sent the medical history of a patient to someone who had no right to the file?” From there, the pieces just fell into place, and Avril’s story came to life.

The BreakupThen there’s ‘The Breakup’, a story about what a woman hopes will happen on a date of dinner and dancing. My ‘what if’ revolved around the word, dancing. “What was his definition of dancing?” Ginny is about to find out. The question is, will she be happy about it?

Overall, I don’t really know what to say. If you, my current and new followers, continue to read my books, what am I going to do but keep writing new ones that tickle your fancy and your emotions? I have notes on several ideas for future stories. Stay tuned.

maggicalExpressionsOh, and I almost forgot. I finally finished putting together my online art gallery. It’s called ‘maggicalExpressions.’ Links to it are on my book site.

Yes, that’s correct. I paint and draw when I need to disappear. Oh, yes, that’s what I do when I write. Well, it’s a different kind of medium, and I enjoy it. I hope you like them.

It’s a nice day today, blue sky, and lots of sun. I’m going to work on my book most of the day, and then I’m going to a party tonight. I can’t wait. It’s a themed party sponsored by a social club I belong to. It’s been way too long since I’ve attended one. I’m looking forward to it.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow.
Rich

Elicit a confession

Life’s learned lessons

January 28, 2017

Life’s learned lessons

Good Day Everyone. Looking at my site, I just realized that I haven’t posted in a week. I knew it had been a while, but I didn’t know that it was that long. Sorry about that.

To tell you the truth, I’ve been seeing a lot of doctors and going to Physical Therapy (PT) lately. I’m working on my post-concussion issues, and I have made some progress and learned a few things. The two biggest things that I learned are:

  1. I’m still not ready to go back to work. (Shit!)
  2. I’m dwelling too much on my headaches and other issues, and not enough on life.

Number 1 scared me until I learned about number 2. I must accept it and deal with it while living my life. I’m sure that my colleagues at work won’t be happy with number 1, but I’m not in control of that aspect of my life. ‘It is what it is.’ As I write this, David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ is playing in the background and I just realized that I identify with many of the verses in the song.

To deal with number 2, I’ve been advised to change things up in my life. Change the venue so to speak. What does that mean? Well, for one thing, get out of the house more often. Now that the holidays are over, I can do that on my terms rather than on someone else’s terms.

My psychologist asked me an important question. “What are your go to items that make you happy?”

An easy answer for once, “Drawing and Painting, Writing, and Sharing intimate time with my girlfriend.” (I don’t necessarily mean sex, but that’s an important part.)

The problem is that all are suffering. I don’t yet have my painting studio setup which prevents me from putting paint to canvas. My injury stopped me from working on it for several months. I muddle through it at times, but I usually ran out of steam before getting far. I’m now motivated to get it done.

The Trafficking ConsortiumThen there is the writing. Without my creative stream running through my head, I am struggling to come up with a storyline. What I do know is that last October, I put pencil to paper and came up with several new compositions that I am very happy with. Drawing them put me in a headspace that made me happy and I forgot about my chronic headache. Checking my headache logs, I discovered that during those days and the following weeks, my headaches were relatively mild. And guess what? That’s when I had my inspiration for ‘The Trafficking Consortium.’ Writing it consumed me, and after looking at the logs, the headaches never surpassed a four on a scale of zero to ten. What do you know?

I can draw almost anywhere and yet; I prefer either my studio or my office. They represent my personal space and allow me to dive in without distractions. Until last night, my office was not configured to allow me to draw easily. It is now. 😉 Starting later today or tomorrow, I’ll finish a piece I started months ago and move on. Perhaps that will be the avenue to find inspiration for a new story. In fact, I’m betting on it.

That leaves the last of my goto’s, my girlfriend. Due to my injury and other issues, which I am not going to go into, our relationship has been strained. She is concerned about my condition and often frustrated that she can’t help. So, I was advised to change things up, do things differently and do it in new environments.

So, change the venue, right? Last night, the two of us went for a walk around my neighborhood. The first time since last fall. I usually do it alone. It was nice. Later today, we’re planning on doing a couple of errands together and then go to the movies. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie in a theater. I’m looking forward to it. We’ve also made plans to go out more, see friends in other venues, rather than have them come to our house. I’m also looking forward to playing cribbage or other games together which we’ve not done since last summer. Playing games at the table gets us away from the TV, and conversing in an intimate setting which is something I crave.

What does all this mean to you, my fans and followers of my blog and readers of my books? Despite what my marketer muse has told me, I’m going to stop forcing myself to write a daily blog. It is stressful to think of topics to write that you are interested in and it takes time away from life, my girlfriend, and my happy place. But don’t fret, I will write you at least weekly and maybe more as things settle down. Yes, it will be true that I will miss your interactions and responding to your comments. You can comment all you like. I will read, and I will write back.

In the meantime, just know that I love and appreciate all of you. Thank you for your support and reading my books. Be sure to look for my latest novel ‘The Trafficking Consortium,’ which I will be publishing on Amazon in early Feb.

Have a great day and a better tomorrow!

Hands stacked in comradery

Comradery

October 1, 2016

Comradery

Six people gathered last night around a table. Six people shared food and drink, each telling their stories, commiserating over pain and anguish, laughing and smiling over accomplishments, as they all looked forward to the coming weeks and months in their lives.

Hands stacked in comradery Others could ask why these six people had appeared together. Watching the group, I can see why. Twenty years in age separate the youngest to the eldest. They come from all walks of life. They consist of nerds and extraverts, techies and non-techies. There’s a renaissance man, a secular politician, a project manager, a software engineer, a contractor, and finally but not least, a therapist. They are smart, street smart, worldly and sheltered. Frankly, something I don’t understand, is how, why and under what circumstances these unlikely of people could gather together and share their precious time together?

As the evening progressed, conversations and stories ranged the gamut. Topics covered, included politics, religion, sports, movies and television, health and wellness, drama, social clubs, travel, vacations, the menu, Cannabis (weed) and medicine, and,Cannoli's well the list goes on and on. Take, for example, television and movies. In short order, the group touched on ‘Galaxy Quest’ as a spoof of ‘Star Trek,’ ‘Dr. Who,’ ‘Guardians of the Galaxy,’ ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy,’ ‘Humans,’ ‘Brain Dead,’ ‘Designated Survivor,’ ‘MacGyver,’ and a plethora of others. Travel and vacations turned to ‘Disney World,’ and Hawaii. Food included the best recommendations from the menu, including ‘Cannolis,’ and Steak Bombers, thin-crust pizza vs. thick-crust, and the excellent fish fry. For three-plus hours, this unlikely group shared themselves with each other.

Making the impossible, possible.
Making the impossible, possible.

What amazes me is most is how apparent each of the six cares for and respects each other. They are patient and kind, compassion and caring. It is evident to me; that should any one of them need support, guidance or redirection, everyone would pitch in and help, offer their assistance and assist the one in need to overcome the challenge. The comradery between them is, for me, the most precious wealth in their combined treasure box. They are not comrades in arms. Instead, they are comrades in friendship. Together, they make the impossible — possible.

I don’t know why, especially due to the diversity of ages and backgrounds, but I am proud to call them … my friends.

Love you all. I had a great time. Thanks.

p.s. As always, please feel free to leave me a comment. I enjoy reading them.

Followup to Goals without a Plan

June 23, 2016

Yesterday, I wrote about goals without a plan is nothing more than a wish. In fact, I believe it’s more than that. It’s wishful thinking.

However, once you have the plan, you are already on the road to meeting your goals. For me, that’s the fun part. Taking the first step, then the next and then, the next one again. I’ve always believed that to reach the summit, you must put one foot in front of the other. Step over over the pebbles and eventually you’ll step over the stone, and eventually the mountain.

Earlier, I stumbled upon this followup quote.

“There’s no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

Makes sense to me, despite that I wish that it were possible to jump ahead of the line and go right to the top.

No Elevator to SuccessThe image I’ve displayed shows the quote surrounded by a spiraling stair case. I can’t imagine how many steps it would take to climb that stair case and reach the top. Hundreds? Thousands?

However many there are, in real life, it takes much more to achieve our goals. My goals. I’ve spent decades learning, experiencing, and experimentation before deciding upon my goals. Some of my goals have fallen to the wayside in favor of newer, more interesting goals.

Do you know what I find if fun? Working on my goals, figuring them out and taking the steps to achieve them. For me, it’s sitting down in front of my computer and transcribing the dialog running through my head. It’s picking up a pencil or paint brush and putting it to paper or canvas. Adrenaline begins racing throughout my body. I’m excited and the imagery in my mind feeds off the adrenaline and suddenly, my fingers can’t move fast enough. Whether it’s typing on a keyboard or stroke after stroke of my pencil or brush, I pour my heart and soul into each creative work.

Years later, I can look at a painting I did, notice one of my books on the shelves and the excitement returns in an immeasurable instant. Every so often, I review Honey’s story in my book, ‘The Taste of Honey‘, and I’m filled with joy, wonderment and concern. I want her to be saved. I want her to thrive. I know that she has a goal in mind and that goal will survive death. She’ll make it happen. She has a plan. You’ll see as you delve into her world along with her best friend, Mona Bendarova.

Damn, I love what I do. I hope you do and if you don’t, well that’s okay too. You’re welcome to your opinion. Who am I to tell you what to think. So, to conclude, I hope I can instill this one thought and it’s a motto I’ve lived with my entire life. As far as I can tell, no one else has said this and I’ve repeated the mantra in my head every day of my adult life, and I’ve been around a while. I would be interested in your comments and responses. Please send me a note. I’ll be happy to read them.

My personal motto is this.

“Nothing is impossible. Everything is possible. It’s all in the attitude.” – Richard Verry

Goal without a Plan

June 22, 2016

I was poking around this morning, wondering what I might write about and I stumbled across this quote.

Quote-GoalWithoutPlan“A goal without a plan is simply a wish.” CalamusWorks

I can’t think of a day in my life where I hadn’t chosen a goal without establishing a plan. It seems natural to me. I make plans almost without conscious thought.

Take for example my recent move from my old home to my new one. Once the decision was made, I started developing the plan to make it happen and as efficiently as possible. It took months to make it happen but it did. Whenever I leave the house to do a number of errands, I don’t just get in my car and go. Instead, as I’m buckling in, I plan my route to be as efficient as possible. That means, go from one destination to another without crossing my path. Some people say I’m being ridiculous. Though I can see their point, I don’t agree. Gasoline is expensive and I don’t want to waste it by retracing my route.

When it comes to writing and painting, I also have a plan but those seem to be much more fluid in nature. It drives me crazy but I have to keep adjusting the plan as each day goes by. I know what my end goal is and I have plan to get there. However, I keep coming across so many unknowns and interruptions that I find it hard to stay on the path (plan).

Sometimes, it is simple fatigue. Sometimes someone needs my assistance and I’m glad to help. Sometimes obligations get in the way. Not that I don’t want to live up to my obligations. I do, though sometimes I wish they didn’t exist. I accepted them so I will make sure I deliver.

These and many more tend to pull me away from following the plan to writing success.

Which raises the question. With any goal and the plan that makes it happen, what is the measure of success in reaching that goal? Buying and house and moving, seems easy enough. Sign the closing papers and move in. Run an errand?

What is my measure of success in reaching my goal of becoming a well-known and successful author and painter? I have to give that some more thought. That too seems to be fluid. I want to be successful, I need to define what it means to be a successful author and painter.

Stay tuned. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Whirlwind nearly over, part 8

May 13, 2016

Don't Worry, Be HappyThings seem to be settling down since the shock of the change in employment status by my girlfriend and committed partner. The last 48 hours have been less stressful, we’re sleeping normally again, and I am not as worried about her as I was. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still worried about her but I’ve got it under control. Fortunately, she recognizes my paranoia. It’s there, no doubt. It’s an issue I will deal with. I worry but it’s my job to worry about her.

Does that mean I’ve gotten over my worrying for her emotional state? No, but I’ve learned that I can keep that to myself. She has enough on her plate. Speaking of, she dropped the line on me that shook me. She told me “I might just take the entire summer off.” I had not expected that but upon reflection it makes sense. What she was insistent on was that I had better “not tell her what to do”. Even better, never … ever say “we lost thousands of dollars this summer by you not working”.

No problem. If she even wants to take the fall off, by all means, go for it. If she wants to completely retire, then I’m okay with that as well. It’ll be a few years earlier than we had originally planned but so what. If it makes her happy, then I’m happy.

What does concern me were all of the future plans we had set up, which assumed her continuing to work full-time for the next couple of years. We had planned on buying a second home to winter at. Is that plan now in jeopardy? I really don’t know but I really want to spend my winters in the warm sun, drinking beers on the beach and write my books.

So, it is apparent to me that I will need to reevaluate the plan and adjust accordingly.

Don’t worry honey. I have your back.

Climbing the Broken Ladder

Whirlwind nearly over, part 7

May 11, 2016

Well, I knew it was too good to be true. Nearly over? Not quite.

7653712_sSure enough, Murphy’s Law kicked in. Mid-afternoon yesterday, our household was kicked in the gut. The love of my life, my girlfriend and partner in the house we purchased together, lost her job.

Granted, we knew it was a possibility. Under new management, the home health care agency she worked for was going through a transition. Not only is her entire department being retired, so are many of the community programs they maintained. By years end, hundreds of citizens who depend upon their services will have to find a new agency to get the needs they need and their respective doctors prescribe.Climbing the Broken Ladder

I was well aware of the transitioning but I never fathomed the scope it would take on. My GF knew that she needed to justify her job and she worked hard at making her immediate supervisor look good. Her efforts were for naught.

The first indication came yesterday when she received a text from her supervisor that she had been canned. Minutes later, the managers under the supervisor received an email to attend a mandatory meeting within the hour. Within minutes, it was announced that due to budgetary reasons, she was being let go and she was immediately walked out of the office, unable to collect her personal effects. Not that she did anything wrong, that’s just their policy.

Now, I know what it’s like to be involuntarily terminated. It’s happened twice in my career. She has never had the pleasure. I feel for her. She’s maintaining a great front, already networking etc. I know different.

She laid awake much of the night, staring at the ceiling. Normally, when up in the middle of the night, she’ll pull out her tablet and browse the web and social sites. Not last night. I could feel the turmoil boiling in her brain.

The crappy thing is that I know from personal experience, there is nothing I can do to help except be there when she needs me. When she does, I’ll hold her, hug her, let her cry on my shoulder, whatever she needs. I will help her as she has done for me. There is no advice in the world that will help her deal with her feelings. Together, we will get through this.

One thing I know, she’ll process the feelings, transition from stage to stage and come out on the other side a stronger woman. She’ll put it behind her and look forward to the next chapter in her life. Opportunities for her abound and she’ll make the best of them. Word is spreading fast and she has already received a suggestion to come work for another agency. She is holding off and taking the time to figure out just what she wants to do.

She’ll grow from the experience and be a better person for it.

Sorry hun and have a margarita. I love you.

Documenting facts and figures.

Essay on self marketing.

April 17, 2016

Instead of writing, I have been studying. My research includes a plethora of books, websites I’ve found, webinars, and social media threads. What am I studying?

By now, you know that I am an author, independently publishing my books on Amazon and all of various eBook outlets and distributors. I also have some of my books available as paperbacks. I created a website to promote my creative works. Yes, I am also an artist. I paint and draw for fun. I don’t actively sell my art.

I focus my attentions on my writings. I write creative fiction. My stories revolve around mystery and suspense stories of an erotic nature. Some tell me that one series of my books are akin to science fiction. Frankly, I was surprised by that comment. I never thought of them that way. They are set thousands of years in our future but does that make them sci-fi?My other series of books tend to focus on criminal acts of assault, torment, and murder. These books are not science fiction.

What I am not, is a marketer. In all of my education, I have never studied marketing. I don’t know how to market myself, my products nor even my career. I have a master’s degree in Information Technology. I never took even a single course on how to market myself. How is that even possible?

Today, I am studying marketing. More specifically, I am studying how to market myself and my books. Frankly, it’s a daunting task. I’ve encountered setbacks, mistakes, and minor successes. I’ve spent thousands of dollars hiring marketing people, test adverts, rebuilding my websites, and learning.

I’ll be the first to admit. I don’t know what I’m doing. I make mistakes, lots of mistakes. I am slowly learning. It’s frustrating. I listen to experts. I work hard to implement the lessons I’ve learned. I am intelligent. I know my mission. I found good people. I found people who don’t get me or my vision.

Taste of Honey book cover 3D
The Taste of Honey

I found people who tried to tell me to sell to a target audience that I instinctively knew was wrong. In one such lesson, I was advised to target the LGBT community because they were simply a smaller target group but big enough to make progress in new sales. Was this wrong?

No, I don’t think so. The problem? Since my stories include women kissing and having sex together, made the stories perfect in targeting the LGBT community.

The trouble was, these characters are heterosexual. In the universe I created, they simply don’t have any stigmas against same-sex intercourse. They don’t share today’s morality related to sex and relationships. This person didn’t get it. Fine. Move on. Lesson learned.

Today, I am studying. I am researching. I am learning. In short, I’m trying. I am determined. I’m opening a new chapter in my training. Come what may, it will work or not. I’ll keep on trying, working, and figuring it out. Wish me luck.

Janet, my maggical, my love

The Love of my Life

April 2, 2016

“Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn’t mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes, good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean they are bad. It means they are human.”
— author unknown

I read this quote on social media just now. It touched me. Does it touch you? Do you believe that mistakes are rectifiable? Is everyone who made a mistake a bad person? If you believe this, what does that say about you?

I will admit. I’ve made mistakes, many mistakes in my life. I do try harder, each and every day, to make better choices. However, it is important to me that I remain ‘me’. I spent too many years trying to be what others wanted me to be. All I got in return was pain and heartache. I grieved, I cried, I nearly died.

Today, I am a happier person. I love what I do and who I am. I make no bones about who I am. You are welcome to take me as I am or not. Do I care? Possibly. Yet, in the end, I cannot change who I am. I love who I am and what I love. Thankfully, the love of my life, maggical (my term of endearment for her), accepts me for who I am and what I love.

I love you maggical and I will forever.

Stream of consciousness eye

Sleep Loss Dumbs You Down

March 4, 2016

Lately, I’ve not been sleeping through the night. Try as I might, I wake up for good between 4 and 4:30 a.m. Over the past year, I’ve been doing okay, but this last week, not so good, and I’m at a loss. I have no significant stress in my life. Life is good. I have no worries to deal with or other such crap. In fact, up until this past weekend, I’ve been writing, reading, doing well at work and performing my annual winter cleaning of the house. As I wrote above, life is good.

So, why this week, can I only get four to five hours sleep? Beats me.

How is this effecting me?

I wake up, lie in bed trying to fall back. No good. I get up, shower and dress, go to work. I’m doing my job, albeit, I’m not firing on all cylinders. That is, I’m not up to my usual efficiency.

I get home and I can’t get my mindset in a creative mode. I can’t write, I can’t draw, I can’t even plan dinner. And oh, I have the munchies. This is new for me. I don’t understand it. I know that my stomach if fine, but my brain keeps telling my mouth to eat. What’s that all about anyway?

I did some more research on sleep deprivation. After reading about all of the usual stuff, I stumbled on this page from WebMD. #2 on the list refers to ‘Sleep Loss Dumbs You Down’.

http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/10-results-sleep-loss

"Sleep plays a critical role in thinking and learning. Lack of sleep hurts these cognitive processes in many ways. First, it impairs attention <check>, alertness <√>, concentration <√>, reasoning <√>, and problem solving <√>. This makes it more difficult to learn efficiently. During the night, various sleep cycles play a role in 'consolidating' memories in the mind. If you don't get enough sleep, you won't be able to remember what you learned and experienced during the day <√>."

Everyone of these points is how I feel right now. The trick is, what to do about it.

Number 4 on the list is the worst. “Lack of Sleep Kills Sex Drive”. I don’t need to read that blurb to know exactly what they are about to report. I’m feeling it and for a writer and painter that dabbles in erotica, this is awful. How can I capture on paper or canvas a sex scene if I can ‘t feel it myself.

The rest of the article goes on with the other effects of lack of sleep. So, that to do about it?

  • Block out adequate nighttime sleep period? <√>
  • Keep distractions out of bed? (Reserve your bed for sleep and sex.) <√> (Hard but doable.)
  • Set a consistent wake-up time? <√>
  • Gradually move to an earlier bedtime? <√>
  • Set consistent, healthy mealtimes? <√>
  • Exercise? (ok, I need to work more on this despite the fact that I was sleeping better before this week.)
  • De-clutter your schedule? <√>
  • Don’t go to bed until you’re sleepy? <√> (Trouble is, I’m sleepy even now, first thing in the morning.)
  • Don’t nap late in the day? <√>
  • Create a relaxing bedtime ritual? <√>
  • Avoid “nightcaps”? <√> (Well, in desperation, I tried a glass of red wine to see if it would help. Not so much.)

Am I depressed? No. Sleep apnea? Yes but it’s been successfully treated for three years now. PTSD and Anxiety? No, at last I don’t believe so.

Maybe I need more than a single glass of wine. I’m also thinking about a new mattress. As nice as the one I have is, it is getting on in years and I’ve slept on hotel ones that are much better. What I will not do is use a pill.

If any one has any ideas, I would love to hear about them. Write me, comment on this post, whatever. I need to get back to creative writing. If I don’t, I’ll go nuts anyway.