Lost Opportunities

This morning, I read a post on Facebook by my friend Leah Hart about an experience she recently had. In that post she revealed that two days ago, she had a terrific idea for a new novel. At the time, it was crystal clear in her head and she knew exactly what to do to write it.

However, she’s also a terrific wife and mother. At the time, her young children were ill and needed her mothering, which she gladly supplied. Family first. I get it and I agree completely. After tending to her children, helping them get through their discomfort, she took a moment for herself to write down her ideas.

Oh sh!#.

Those ideas are now what I call ‘vaporware’. In tending to her children, the story idea didn’t get a chance to imprint itself onto her brain, and the brain did what normally does. It cleaned house.

IdeasOur brains are wonderful organs. They capture and store significant amounts of information. Information that we use each and every day. It also stores memories, experiences and all sorts of stuff so that we can learn from our mistakes and improve our every day lives.

The trouble is, our brains also have only so much capacity. Granted, some brains have more than others. Still, it’s a fact that if we don’t use those thoughts and apply them to our lives when they first bounce around in our noggins, then our brains are trained to clear them away to make room for new stuff.

It sucks. I know all too well. I have been a victim of this phenomena many times over.

I used to keep a notepad on me all the time to write these notes down for followup later. The result as you might guess, page after page, notebook after notebook of ideas that clutter up my home and rarely get referred to. So, then I tried using a white board. I have it prominently mounted in my home office where I do the bulk of my creative work. As I walk by, I can glance at it and recall at an instance, just what that idea was. ‘Better’. That board is so full of notes that it’s hard to see the white behind the black of the dry erase marker. Now, it’s almost a chore to keep it up to date and if anyone knows me, I hate doing chores. I do them, but I hate it.

With the advent of the smart phone, ‘Siri and Ok Google’ where speech to text has evolved to be practical, I began using the ‘speech to text’ features of my smart phone to capture and write down ideas. Much better and almost doable. I have my phone set up so that as I dictate my notes, those notes are written down and uploaded to my cloud account.

It works though I do have a funny story to go with it. One day, I was sitting in a café eating lunch, when an idea flashed through my brain. Great. A perfect opportunity to write down my idea. I whipped out my phone and tapped the icon. Who doesn’t keep their phone with them at all times? As soon as I did, I opened my mouth to begin speaking when lo and behold, I saw words appearing on my screen. And I wasn’t talking. Huh? Turns out the microphone was so sensitive that it was picking up the conversation of the people at the next table over. Wow! I thought. How cool is that. I was reading on my phone what they were talking about. All the personal details of their lives were being captured, converted to text and uploaded to my cloud account. I erased them but still ….

Since that day, I am careful to watch what I say, not just to the people whom I am sitting with but also to the strangers at the tables nearby. Word to the wise!

What have I concluded from these experiences my brain captures every second of every day? I get up at 4 o’clock in the morning and write. Many of my best ideas, dialog and scenes appear in my mind while I am in that half awake / half asleep state. I’ve trained my mind that if those ideas are good enough, to get the hell out of bed and write it down.

The scene, dialog, whatever won’t be perfect and will need editing. But, I’ve captured the idea and I can use it productively.

So, in the evening and right after dinner, when I seem to be checking out, my eyes drooping and it’s obvious I am looking for my bed, just know this. My day started at 4am and it’s been very productive. By 8pm, I’m tired, run down and ready to shutdown for the night. It sucks some days but that’s the way it is.

And oh, btw way. I started writing this about 5am, about a half hour after I woke up with an idea and I saw Leah’s post. Oh, shit. What was that idea that I had at 4am anyway?

Normal? What is normal?

Do you consider yourself ‘Normal’?

Of course I do. I feel that I am the most normal guy one could meet.

Sometimes, my girlfriend has a different opinion. From reading, editing to discussing my books and novellas, she thinks I’m something different. I suppose and hope that is why she likes me. Just to remind everyone, we’ve been together for over twelve years.

Having said all that, let’s get back to the question. I spoke recently about the imagery that flies around in my head all day. I suppose that makes me different, since I am convinced that most others don’t have those experiences yet abnormal? No way!

Webster’s Dictionary defines normal as:

  1. a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle
    b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
  2. occurring naturally <normal immunity>
  3. a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development
    b: free from mental disorder

Open bookWhen I compare myself to Webster, if there is any question, then by definition, I am normal. While I am unique, I also personally know hundreds of people and by extrapolation, millions who think like me and enjoy similar interests as I do and follow the same shows, hobbies and genres. In so many ways I conform to standards and patterns that society expects of me. I work for a living, pay my taxes, maintain my own home, take the garbage out and enjoy a daily shower. That last is really important.

My mother carried and delivered me naturally, though she told me later that I almost killed her as I wanted to come out sideways. She tells me that they had to push me back in, turn me around before delivering me. Does that make me abnormal? No, I don’t believe so. Breech births do happen. Of what I know now, if I was born more than a hundred years ago, neither me, mom or my sisters might not be around. Medicine back then wouldn’t be equipped to handle the difference from a normal birth.

psychiatric hospitalAm I categorized as of having average intelligence? I think so. I definitely know that there are people smarter than myself and others who are not. That makes me normal.

That leaves ‘free of mental disorder’. That’s a subjective term in so … many ways. While I know that there is scientific, medical definitions of various mental disorders, no one has ever accused or diagnosed me of having one.

I can only conclude I am normal. What about you? Do you consider yourself normal? If so, why? If not, really? I want to hear from you. Perhaps I can turn your story into a book. We should chat. You can use the comment section below to get started. I would so enjoy hearing your story.

Under the weather-followup #2

Under the weather – followup

The other day, I wrote about my month-long cold/whatever it is/was. However, since I wrote about my ills over the last month, I feel the need to write a followup.

Most important of all is … thank you for all of the kind words sent to me wishing me get well soon. I really appreciate them. It means a lot to me. I don’t normally like to write or talk about health related issues. Normally, it’s no ones business. To demonstrate how I feel about that, when I broke my leg a 15 years ago, I didn’t tell a soul. Even though I was living alone at the time, I kept that private. That’s life and I dealt with it.

As I wrote yesterday, I did go see the doctor and go through several tests. Doc tells me that I am presenting a very strange case, one that doesn’t seem to fit normal progressions of winter colds and flu. Yes, I did get my flu shot this year. The tests came back either negative or within normal ranges. So, no help there other than discount the norms.

So, what’s going on?

No one knows. She suspects that I am the victim of serial multiple cold or other viral infections. She suspects that this is the case as each one, taken along presents differently and is treated differently.

Today, I am feeling much better. She’s put me on a new stronger regime of antibiotics, which seems to be doing the trick. And while I’ve heard this before, I am crossing my fingers. I plan on returning to work tomorrow. And after that, get back to writing. Whoo hoo!

I have a long way to go to finish up my next novel, ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in the Mona Bendarova Adventures. Time to buckle down and get writing.

Wow! I’m a serial victim? Sounds interesting. It could even an idea for a book or story. I’ll have to give it some thought.

Under the weather – followup

Under the weather – followup

Yesterday, I wrote about my month-long cold/whatever it is/was. However, since I wrote about my ills over the last month, I feel the need to write a followup.

Most important of all is … thank you for all of the kind words sent to me wishing me get well soon. I really appreciate them. It means a lot to me. I don’t normally like to write or talk about health related issues. Normally, it’s no ones business. To demonstrate how I feel about that, when I broke my leg a 15 years ago, I didn’t tell a soul. Even though I was living alone at the time, I kept that private. That’s life and I dealt with it.

As I wrote yesterday, I did go see the doctor and go through several tests. Doc tells me that I am presenting a very strange case, one that doesn’t seem to fit normal progressions of winter colds and flu. Yes, I did get my flu shot this year. The tests came back either negative or within normal ranges. So, no help there other than discount the norms.

So, what’s going on?

No one knows. She suspects that I am the victim of serial multiple cold or other viral infections. She suspects that this is the case as each one, taken along presents differently and is treated differently.

Today, I am feeling much better. She’s put me on a new stronger regime of antibiotics, which seems to be doing the trick. And while I’ve heard this before, I am crossing my fingers. I plan on returning to work tomorrow. And after that, get back to writing. Whoo hoo!

 

I have a long way to go to finish up my next novel, ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in the Mona Bendarova Adventures. Time to buckle down and get writing.

Wow! I’m a serial victim? Sounds interesting. It could even an idea for a book or story. I’ll have to give it some thought.

4

Under the weather – followup

Under the weather – followup

Yesterday, I wrote about my month-long cold/whatever it is/was. However, since I wrote about my ills over the last month, I feel the need to write a followup.

Most important of all is … thank you for all of the kind words sent to me wishing me get well soon. I really appreciate them. It means a lot to me. I don’t normally like to write or talk about health related issues. Normally, it’s no ones business. To demonstrate how I feel about that, when I broke my leg a 15 years ago, I didn’t tell a soul. Even though I was living alone at the time, I kept that private. That’s life and I dealt with it.

As I wrote yesterday, I did go see the doctor and go through several tests. Doc tells me that I am presenting a very strange case, one that doesn’t seem to fit normal progressions of winter colds and flu. Yes, I did get my flu shot this year. The tests came back either negative or within normal ranges. So, no help there other than discount the norms.

So, what’s going on?

No one knows. She suspects that I am the victim of serial multiple cold or other viral infections. She suspects that this is the case as each one, taken along presents differently and is treated differently.

Today, I am feeling much better. She’s put me on a new stronger regime of antibiotics, which seems to be doing the trick. And while I’ve heard this before, I am crossing my fingers. I plan on returning to work tomorrow. And after that, get back to writing. Whoo hoo!

 

I have a long way to go to finish up my next novel, ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in the Mona Bendarova Adventures. Time to buckle down and get writing.

Wow! I’m a serial victim? Sounds interesting. It could even an idea for a book or story. I’ll have to give it some thought.

3

Under the weather – followup

Under the weather – followup

Yesterday, I wrote about my month-long cold/whatever it is/was. However, since I wrote about my ills over the last month, I feel the need to write a followup.

Most important of all is … thank you for all of the kind words sent to me wishing me get well soon. I really appreciate them. It means a lot to me. I don’t normally like to write or talk about health related issues. Normally, it’s no ones business. To demonstrate how I feel about that, when I broke my leg a 15 years ago, I didn’t tell a soul. Even though I was living alone at the time, I kept that private. That’s life and I dealt with it.

As I wrote yesterday, I did go see the doctor and go through several tests. Doc tells me that I am presenting a very strange case, one that doesn’t seem to fit normal progressions of winter colds and flu. Yes, I did get my flu shot this year. The tests came back either negative or within normal ranges. So, no help there other than discount the norms.

So, what’s going on?

No one knows. She suspects that I am the victim of serial multiple cold or other viral infections. She suspects that this is the case as each one, taken along presents differently and is treated differently.

Today, I am feeling much better. She’s put me on a new stronger regime of antibiotics, which seems to be doing the trick. And while I’ve heard this before, I am crossing my fingers. I plan on returning to work tomorrow. And after that, get back to writing. Whoo hoo!

 

I have a long way to go to finish up my next novel, ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in the Mona Bendarova Adventures. Time to buckle down and get writing.

Wow! I’m a serial victim? Sounds interesting. It could even an idea for a book or story. I’ll have to give it some thought.

Under the weather – followup

Under the weather – followup

Yesterday, I wrote about my month-long cold/whatever it is/was. However, since I wrote about my ills over the last month, I feel the need to write a followup.

Most important of all is … thank you for all of the kind words sent to me wishing me get well soon. I really appreciate them. It means a lot to me. I don’t normally like to write or talk about health related issues. Normally, it’s no ones business. To demonstrate how I feel about that, when I broke my leg a 15 years ago, I didn’t tell a soul. Even though I was living alone at the time, I kept that private. That’s life and I dealt with it.

As I wrote yesterday, I did go see the doctor and go through several tests. Doc tells me that I am presenting a very strange case, one that doesn’t seem to fit normal progressions of winter colds and flu. Yes, I did get my flu shot this year. The tests came back either negative or within normal ranges. So, no help there other than discount the norms.

So, what’s going on?

No one knows. She suspects that I am the victim of serial multiple cold or other viral infections. She suspects that this is the case as each one, taken along presents differently and is treated differently.

Today, I am feeling much better. She’s put me on a new stronger regime of antibiotics, which seems to be doing the trick. And while I’ve heard this before, I am crossing my fingers. I plan on returning to work tomorrow. And after that, get back to writing. Whoo hoo!

 

I have a long way to go to finish up my next novel, ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in the Mona Bendarova Adventures. Time to buckle down and get writing.

Wow! I’m a serial victim? Sounds interesting. It could even an idea for a book or story. I’ll have to give it some thought.

Under the weather

Under the weather.

Who thought up that idiom to mean being sick anyway?

Most of you don’t know this but I’ve been under the weather much of the past month. I’ve used up a bunch of my banked sick days and I hate that. What started as a cold took a downturn after five days. After eight days, I decided to see my doctor. I love my doctor. She, that’s right she’s a woman, works with me to keep me healthy and strong. Before this $%^& cold, I hadn’t had a cold or flu for years. I guess it’s payback time.

Anyway, I digress. So I went to see Doctor Nancy and get fixed up. She tells me that more than half of her patients are experiencing what I am experiencing. I don’t know why but it made me feel better. Dumb eh? Feeling better because so many others are suffering the way I am. Sorry everyone who has what I have.

Doc puts me on a regime including antibiotics. Within two days, I’m feeling better. Whoo hoo! Over the next week, I know I’m not completely well yet but I’m progressing. I’m good with that.

Then, it hits me again this past weekend and I spend much of Sunday and Monday back in bed, coughing up my lungs and not getting much rest. WTF? Am I ever going to get better? I’m going back to see her yet again today but this time, before I meet with her, she’s scheduled me for various tests. Anything to get past this, I’m in.

Do you know what’s worse?

Those images floating in my head that I wrote about the other day, well they’re still there but it’s chaotic. I can’t make sense of them. Add to that, I can’t seem to keep creative thoughts long enough to write them down so I’ve done very little writing these past couple of weeks.

If it’s brainless and monotonous, I can do that. At least for short periods of time. If it’s more than that, I’m totally fucked. My head hurts, my throat hurts, and dare I say it, my chest feels like there is a rock in it? I hope not.

Wish me luck.

Thank you OOPS

Thank youOops.

I just realized that I am human too. Alright, you can stop laughing now. I know I am human and I make mistakes. And I made a big one a little while ago.

I was just re-reading my blog, published to thank all of those folks in my life that in some way, contributed to my personal growth this past year. As I was reading it, I realized that I forgot a whole segment of people who I needed to thank.

It is you, my fans and followers. Those who read my blogs every day, those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook. It’s everyone who has read my books and/or posted a review on them. Without you, I wouldn’t be doing this nor would my spirits soar as they do when I hear from you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

So, this entry is for you, my fans and followers. I appreciate all that you do. Thank you.

Perhaps it was the ‘Get off the fucking stage’ music that was running in my head as I was writing my earlier piece. After years of watching award shows and glad for the music, I now realize just how distracting it can be for the person on the stage. I feel for you man! (Oops, I did it again.) I feel for you all, men and women alike. It really is a tough gig and I have a new-found respect for your talents.

So, again, thank you to all of my followers. A big special thank you for those who have taken their valuable time to read my books. Whether you like to read a little or a lot, if you have slotted one of my books into your schedule, taken the time to read it, THANK YOU. If you haven’t yet already, that’s okay. There’s still time. I welcome the opportunity to thank you at a later date.

The books are available, right here on my website, RichardVerry.com or at Amazon, B&N, iBook etc.

As the holiday season winds down.

With the holidays winding down and I recover from a bad cold and too much food and drink, I would like to take the opportunity to thank the people who have helped me on my journey this year.21886846_s-Coctail in glass with ice and lemon on black

First off, thank you to the love of my life, Janet. She has put up with a lot of my shit this past year. Even though she grumbles and frets, she knows that I’m no slouch and what I have been trying to do this past year is for her benefit, as well as mine. I love her so much and I appreciate everything she has ever done or will do for me.

I would like to thank my sister Jean for simply believing in me. She struggles to understand and feels remorse when she can’t support me when I ask. I rarely ask Thank youanything of her, just preferring her love. Usually, she is the first in line to help yet this past year, I asked her for something that was important to me. Much to my surprise, she didn’t know how to tell me that she couldn’t and it severely distressed and anguished her. Through her tears, I retracted my request. Our love for each other is more important.

Then there’s Leah. I don’t  remember how I found her yet this fine lady has found a way to boost my confidence and help me grow. She is putting me on the right path to being a successful writer. I’ve never met her but I almost think of her as family.

Then there are those who I consider my best friends these many years who wish to remain nameless in this forum. I look forward to spending time with them soon. One of these friends has been helping me develop my story-lines. Because of her generosity, she is now a recurring character in the next major novel I am writing. She’s a loving, spiritual person who is working hard on her latest business venture. I wish her much success and try to support her as best I can in this endeavor. Another friend is busy working on her upcoming marriage and I know she is there if I need her. I can’t wait to attend her wedding. It will be the highlight of the year.

I’m also thankful to my employer. Anything that needs to be done, I am willing to do. No problemo. I’ve been jobless and hungry before and I never want to experience that ever again.

Happy New Year stars streamers vectorAs I write this, I am realizing that there are many other people who have helped me throughout the past year. I am grateful and very appreciative to all. In my head, I hear the orchestra playing the ‘Get Off the Fucking Stage’ music as if I was giving a speech at an awards ceremony. You get the idea. So in closing, thank you one and all. I hope I get the chance to tell you in person the next time I see you.

Happy New Year! May 2016 be a great one.

To find out more about me and read my blogs, check out my website, RichardVerry.com.