Halloween is in two days, and frankly, I don’t care. Yes, that’s right. My heart isn’t in it this year. Anyone who knows me knows that for as long as I can remember, Halloween is my favorite holiday, or is that was? I don’t know myself. I suppose I will know years from now.
What’s changed?
Let’s see. What’s changed. First, I now live in a fifty-five and up community. No one comes to the house for trick-or-treating. Only a few houses in my neighborhood decorate anything to do with the holiday. When they do, is a set of string lights and a pumpkin, which wasn’t carved into a jack-o’-lantern. How sad is that?
What an impressive start to Infiltration, book 4 in the #Consortium series. I’m impressed. Thank you fans and readers. It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote, and a lot has happened since then. With no additional fluff, here we go.
Book 5 News
Woman in words 2 by JuanOsborne
I’ve written several chapters for book #5, the follow-up book of Infiltration as yet unnamed, and it is off to a good start too. In chatting with my muses, I’ve heard comments like, “Oh, this is getting exciting!”
I am excited to get deeper into the story. Like #Infiltration, my writing is off to an impressive start. So much is going on, that I sometimes lose track of where I am, as the ideas of scenes keep popping into my mind. I have several I want to do, but have yet to write them, or even know where in the story I should put them. I know we are all used to chronological order in our stories, but maybe this time, I need to use a couple of my ideas in flashbacks. What I know is that these ideas are perfect for the story, and they all fit right in with the development of the characters and the plot.
Yes, I am excited by the way this book is turning out so far. I can’t wait to see how it develops. I know you, my readers, are also thinking the same thing.
Other News
Of course, I’ve suffered a setback of sorts. A little over two weeks ago, my #concussion related 24x7x365 #headache that started almost five years ago asserted itself. I went 16 days with a constant #migraine level headache, yes, I used singular form on purpose. It is/was all one event lasting for way too long that never let up. As a result, I could barely do my regular job that keeps the roof over my head, and as soon as I got home, I’d collapse and rest, nap, and finally go to bed. Somewhere in there, I’d eat a little, but beyond that, I could do nothing else. I was completely and utterly worn out from dealing with the headache.
Today, I finally have a bit of relief. It’s down in the 4-5 range which is manageable. I’m really tired of the 6-8 range. It might be because of a change in medication, using something that is more potent than I’ve ever used before. Don’t worry, it’s not addictive. While I have some of that addictive stuff in the house, I refuse to use it, knowing how dangerous it is, refusing to fall into that trap. I’m also concerned with the amount of over-the-counter analgesics I’ve taken. I don’t want that stuff to mess with my kidneys, liver, or other vital organs. Besides, they did little to help.
So I am working through the issue and hope to get a lot of writing done starting today.
Spring has sprung?
On the positive note, it looks like Spring arrived in my part of the world. Temperatures fluctuate wildly, but there have been enough warm days lately that I’ve seen bare legs and flip-flops on people of all ages and types. The sun shines a lot more too, which doesn’t help the headache, but helps with my mood.
Thanks for reading this article. I know it feels more like a journal entry, but I wanted you, my readers, to know that I am on top of things, and recognize your thirst for more of Avril and Sir’s story. You know what? Like me, you’re all a bloodthirsty lot. Thank you.
End the day with a positive thought, what an interesting, inspirational message? When I first saw this quote the other day, I had to stop and think about it. The first question I asked myself was, why?
In thinking about the deeper meaning of the inspirational message, I thought about what I do every day since I can remember. Yes, that’s right, back to when I was a child, though it’s more likely that as a young adult, I lived this mindset.
The full quote reads:
“Always end the day with a positive thought. No matter how hard things were, tomorrow’s a fresh opportunity to make it better.”
~unknown
Yesterday, I had a Daith Piercing done. I have other piercings, but after my initial ones, I didn’t know what I would get next. Fourteen years later, I got another one. Not for aesthetic reasons, mind you, but for health reason. Huh? You might ask. Well, this is my story.
Headaches remain a problem. That’s right, while I haven’t written about my post-concussion syndrome issues lately, they persist. My loved one’s wish they could help, but no one is more frustrated about them than I am.
Alright, I admit it, I’m getting lax in writing to you. It’s just that I’m excited to get back into rejoining the human race, and going out with friends and family. While I am still recovering from my injury sixteen months ago, I’m down to the short rows in my progress. By that I mean, I’m probably back to 95% of what I was before my injury. It’s this last 5% that is getting to me. My progress slows the closer and closer I get to 100%.
My doctors and therapists tell me, I may never get back to 100%. I won’t accept that. I will continue working hard to stop forgetting names, words, and concepts that are clearly visible in my mind, just not making it past my lips. Grrr…. And, I still have a constant, low-grade headache to deal with that gets me down at times. Rest assured, I’ll figure it all out. In the meantime, I’m enjoying getting back into the swing of things.
Also, I am writing, though not at the pace I was when I had lots of free time on my hands. My followup book to ‘The Trafficking Consortium’ is well underway. It’s entitled ‘Perfect Prey.’ Anyone who has read the first book will understand the meaning of the title. The first draft is about 60% done, with lots of scenes that need integration into the overall story. Not to fear, I’ll figure it out. I also have a clear understanding of what the third book in the trilogy will entail. Unlike when I wrote ‘The Trafficking Consortium,’ which I expected to be a single, stand-alone novel, Avril’s story is evolving into a trilogy. I hope to finish it by the end of the holidays and begin editing it for real before turning it over to my editor for the heavy red-pen. 😉
More ideas
Plus, I want to finish these two books soon, as I have ideas for more normalized novels that don’t involve crime and punishment. Wouldn’t that be a change in direction? One might even call them romance novels, not that I have read any. I just like the snippets I’ve been writing and sharing with my female friends. They are encouraging me to take this turn, and I’m likely to do it.
In the meantime, sales of all of my books are doing well. I am thankful for the host of people out there who are reading my works. Please, consider writing a review. Good or bad, I enjoy reading them. Plus, they give me incentives to continue writing and refining my talents. Thanks, everyone.
maggicalExpressions
Might I also suggest that you check out my online art gallery at maggicalExpressions. When I need to take a break, relax, and unwind, I tend to draw and paint. This gallery displays a collection of most of my favorite pieces. Let me know what you think. Most are available for sale, either as the original artwork or prints at a substantially reduced price.
So, overall, am I really getting lax? I kind of doubt it.
I just asked my girlfriend what I should write about in this iteration of my blog. I hadn’t a clue. Why?
I’m spending the day in the warm sun, sitting on my porch, writing scenes and character bios for my next book. No, I’m not letting the cat out of the bag just yet. It’s too early in the process to tell you that. Who knows, it might never come to pass.
However, writing is what I’m doing, as well as catching up on email, social media, connecting with friends and, of course, day dreaming. I’m feeling better, and while my left over concussion headache is still with me, like a squatter who refuses eviction, I have my creative steam back. Ideas are appearing in my head, creating scene after scene that I want to capture, whether for this new book or another. It’s maddening sometimes, I can’t catch them any faster, so I lose them before I can write them down. Damn! I wish I could type at the speed of light.
Speaking of which my typing sucks at the moment. I think of a sentence I want to type, and after I type it, I find that several words are mistyped, often so badly that even the word processor doesn’t know what to do with them. Fsxk. See what I mean? Fuckk, oh fuck it already.
Here in the United States, we are having our unofficial last week of summer. For those that know our holidays, next week we celebrate the holiday known as labor day, a day set aside to honor the workers of the country. Workers who get things done, often at the behest of others. I count myself in their ranks, never reaching the heights of the one percenters.
Not that I care. For the most part, I liked my life, and I am enjoying my current life. The only way it could be better is that I get a movie deal from one of my books, and earn enough to buy that beach house, with an attached pool, and paint and write full-time, all while scanning the young bikini clad lovelies walking along the ocean and enjoying afternoon delights with my girlfriend before retiring to my hammock with a drink in my hand. Okay, that last sentence was wordy. Fuck it and go have another drink.
My sister just left. Whew, I’m tired. She and her husband arrived last Thursday and departed Saturday afternoon. Everyone had a great time. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. However, I’m still tired. As hosts, I tried to be up early and stay up late until they were ready for bed. So, what was I to do? I stayed up past midnight, ate and drank a bit too much, and talked into the wee hours of the night.
Carolyn Jones (C, sitting) and John Astin (L), with other cast members, during scene from program “The Addams Family.”
I miss my sister. I do. I haven’t seen her for at least two years(?). She lives three hundred plus miles away and until this past weekend, last came to visit me when I first moved to my adopted town back in the late eighties. Since then, I’ve gone to visit her. She has a bunch of kids, and she felt that kind of car ride would be difficult. I understand. So, I visited her as much as I can. I have only one kid, and he’s grown up and moved away. I have no pets to take care of, nor do need to find accommodations for them when I go away, nor deal with the hassles of taking them with me to contend with her pets.
The long and short of it, I’m just glad they came. I miss her.
I even had a chance to chat with her alone, one-on-one. Sometimes, I feel the need to tailor my conversation based upon whether her husband or my girlfriend is around. Even though I know that she is very traditional, she is still open and liberal enough to accept me for whom I am. She accepts me, faults and all. And boy, some say I have many faults.
What? Me? Faults? I kid of course, but that doesn’t change who I am. I like me as I am, and I hate tailoring myself to protect the feelings of others.
So, that is in part, why I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been busy. In the free moments I had, I spent researching how to redesign my website. I found a theme I like, and I’m playing with it to see how it turns out. If not, I’ll move on. Until then, I’m not buying the professional version until I am satisfied. It is going to take some work though. My old theme used page templates that don’t translate very way to other themes. It’s these templates that drive me crazy. They interfere with the SEO (Seach Engine Optimization) routines and are not compatible with the higher end online shopping cart systems. A big PITA (Pain In The ASS). Still, what I’ve accomplished over the past couple of weeks is promising.
Now, on my head issues, cognitive issues are rampant. Do you know how long it took me to remember the word ‘promising’ in the previous paragraph? Way too long, let me tell you. Grrrrr!!!! Periodic chiropractic adjustments seem to work. My headaches live in the one to two range of ten. When they start to grow, doc tells me I’m out of adjustment. Damn, I didn’t know one leg could be shorter than another simply by being out of adjustment. A quick fix and I’m on my way. Even my neurologist is impressed. He’s put me on a decreasing dose of my meds with the intent to hopefully stop within 18 weeks. Knock on wood. Wish me luck.
Oh, I almost forgot. ‘The Trafficking Consortium‘ is now available in paperback from Amazon and Createspace.com. If you’re one to like a book in your lap rather than on a tablet or smart-phone, then now is your chance to get it at a decent price. Join the hundreds of others that have read the book. As always, I appreciate your honest critique and review posted on the site from where you bought the book. Thx.
Okay, that’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed reading about my latest news. Until next time, have a great day and a better tomorrow!
p.s. Theme photo is from the original Addam’s Family television series from the 1960’s, a take off of Charles Addam’s cartoons, which I devoured in my youth. By no means, do I want to equate my sister’s visit with the Addam’s. I love both, just differently.
That is a very good question. I continue pushing through, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. Besides the constant elevated headache, I’m fatigued both mentally and physically. My emotions are raw and all I can do is think about sleep. Ah, blissful sleep, a time when I don’t register my pain and discomfort. And yet, there have been times, when I dreaded going to bed to sleep. What an awful way to live.
It turns out that I must be my own care manager as well as a patient. Sucks, big time, let me tell you. My doctor’s treating my post-concussion symptoms are all specialists, who only know their own narrow field of expertise. The doctor who is managing my case, simply tells me, that they only assess and refer me to specialists. They are not in the business of treating.
“Say what? What kind of shit is that?” I thought as they told me that. But there it is. I have to make the phone calls, follow-up interactions between the various doctors (and yes, there are a lot of them), the pharmacy, and the insurance company handling my worker’s comp claim.
And let’s not get into the impact all this has had on my retirement plan. I just got my statement. My income reported to the plan was about half of what I should have earned last year. It’s not going to be much better next year. I knew I lost some money by being out of work, but really, almost half of my typical income? On top of that, I have to make up the lost time to retire with full benefits, which means I will have to work an additional six months before I retire. Crap!
As of today, I am on two new meds, and so far, I am getting some good results. The next couple of weeks will tell. I am hoping for good news.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the plot of my next novel. I find that once I am in the midst of the storyline, I feel fantastic. The writing is comfortable and natural. I can lose all track of time and my environment. Much to the despair of my loving girlfriend and partner, I’ve been known to ignore her while I am in the depths of typing out my latest scene. Sorry love.
I don’t know about you other writers out there, but when I am invested in a character, I tend to feel what they feel, be it pleasurable or not. I like it, and I get to imagine what it is like to experience their lives as they fulfill their destiny.
I need to revisit the realm of one of my characters. I have several great story lines I’d like to delve in one day. Just not today.
I don’t understand why not. I remember how excited I was when I wrote down those story outlines. In fact, I remember one day, writing down over a dozen plots that I could use in developing a new book. Yet, as I reviewed them over the past couple of weeks, none of them stood out and captured my interest. Of course, I wrote all of those notes pre-concussion.
My question to everyone out there, am I experiencing a writer’s block or did my brain injury affect me in ways that are changing me? I hadn’t thought so last month. I was in the depths of the glory of producing my last novel, ‘The Trafficking Consortium.’ My stream of creative thought, missing for many months after my brain injury, seemed to return with a big bang. Yet, today I wonder if it was just a fleeting spark. The stream, so much a part of my life, has regressed to a mere trickle, falling ever so slowly from a water faucet.
What do you think? Am I suffering a short-term writer’s block or am I suffering from the after effects of my brain injury? Can ‘Post-Concussion Syndrome’ be that devastating? Please leave me a reply by commenting in the field below. Unless otherwise requested, all replies will be publicly shared.
Thanks for reading this and sharing your thoughts. I do appreciate the valuable time you spend in my little corner of the world.
Until next time, this is Richard Verry, sitting at my desk, looking out the window at an unseasonably mild and overcast gray day, and anxious as to whether I will ever return to my normal self.
Due to lots of icy rain and the aftereffects of my head injury suffered last summer, I just had to cancel a coffee date with a dear friend of mine. Damn it all! This head crap is really affecting my lifestyle. Will I ever get past this? PT is helping, for sure. But enough already! Okay, enough venting. Back to your normally scheduled programing.
I trust that all is well with you and that you survived New Years. I did, but it was not one of the favorite evenings in my lifetime. First, staying up to midnight was an arduous task. Fortunately, a game of dominos helped a lot. Since my concussion, I haven’t been up that late, which is now in the sixth month.
The injury also left me extremely sensitive to sensory items, such as sound, sight, and smells. That is, more “Good morning one and all”…
Good Morning. I trust everyone is recovering nicely from the festivities of last weekend. You’d better, as the New Year is this coming weekend. Are you hosting or going to a party to celebrate the passing of 2016 (good riddance) and the arrival of 2017? I plan too, but as of yet, I haven’t finalized my plans. I’m sure we’ll figure it out. And if you’re like me, and occasionally skip the party for a quiet evening at home, with or without a loved one, then I say, sounds like a great plan.
I had planned on writing this post yesterday. What kept me? Good question.
As most of you know, I suffered a severe concussion over the summer. I’ve been dealing with the after-effects ever since. I still suffer from short-term memory loss and an infrequent but consistent inability to form coherent sentences. I start therapy for that the middle of January for that.
Most concerning to me is my constant headaches. There hasn’t been a day when I have been without one since July. It sucks, and I am at a loss. My neurologist has stepped up my prescriptions in which I have to increase the dosage week-by-week gradually. I won’t be at full dosage until the end of January. But that isn’t why I failed to write to you yesterday.
I’m now in physical therapy. I have sessions twice a week. Yesterday was the first after the holiday. I go to PT with the expectation that they will beat me up and I need to rest when I get home. Yesterday, man did they ever beat me up. I never thought forty-five minutes of any activity would be so excruciating and so debilitating afterward.
When I got home after yesterday’s PT, I was exhausted, in pain, and my headache climbed a few notches. Hey, isn’t PT suppose to reduce my headaches? Well, that’s what I hope for, but at this early stage, it is far more likely that I will continue experience yesterday’s result for the near future. So, I’m walking in the door, the house is quiet, and my loving girlfriend is still asleep. I grabbed several glasses of water and gulped them down. Then I made a cup of coffee and while that was brewing, drank another glass of water.
When the coffee was ready, I plopped down in my recliner where I spent much of the day. I never felt so physically tired after just forty-five minutes. It’s as if I worked a construction site, or a factory floor, for ten hours. I was mentally and physically fatigued. What the hell is up with that, anyway?
After a mid-afternoon nap, a quiet evening, and a good night’s sleep, I feel much better. Despite still having my headache. Damn, when will I ever get relief?
Care to share your stories? I’ll be happy to read, and if you like, I’ll publish them. Till next time, I’m back to writing and enjoying the season. I hope you have a great day and a better tomorrow.
The world still exists, and I am recovering from hosting a number of people for the holiday feast. As Dr. Seuss wrote, we served roast beast, au gratin potatoes, green beans and a broccoli cheese casserole.
For desert, we served a wide array of strawberry rhubarb pie, cannolis, cheese puffs and the annual traditional rum cake. Oh, and let’s not forget the numerous bottles of wine and spirits consumed.
Cheesy Eddie’s, Rochester NY, USA
For me the best of all was the local and best cheesecake I’ve ever tasted from Cheesy Eddie’s. I love their cheesecakes, especially the perfect New York style. My belly hurts just thinking about it all.
They tell me that the roast beast was cooked to perfection. It’s amazing what you can do if you have a great recipe from the butcher shop and an accurate thermometer. Hint: virgin olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper and fresh thyme lovingly rubbed into the meat before cooking. I think it was the thyme that made the difference. Delish.
Everyone had a great time and I even heard comments like ‘this is my favorite party,’ ‘looking forward to coming back next year,’ and so forth. Warms my heart though I always look forward to bedding down afterwards and sleeping in the next day. Ah! That’s today.
Despite the chaos and cacophony of loud conversations, I managed to survived to the day after Christmas without too much trouble. Of course, for awhile and in order to stem the growing concussion migraine headache I’ve lived with for the past five months, I had to wear dark glasses and ear plugs at times to soften the assault to my brain. Fortunately, I kept it in check and even managed a couple of glasses of red wine.
Chillin’
Today is recovery day. My girlfriend and I are just chilling, taking it easy. Whew! We had a great time but I’m glad it’s over.
Chilling out and relaxing is giving me a chance to read my new novel on my eBook reader (my phone) as if I am an ordinary reader. So far, so good. There are probably a couple of very minor edits I will do. I’m marking them as I read. When I finish the novel, I’ll incorporate them into a second edition of the book.
I must say, I’m very pleased with the way the book turned out. I love the story, and regardless of the circumstances of the main characters, there is budding romance that came about entirely by accident. It is not in the nature of either character to see the other with warm, compassion, and love, yet, each character’s heart softens to the other as the story unfolds. Of course, with any good story, you’ll need to read the book to see whether their romance flourishes or explodes.
Sure, it’s gritty and disturbing, even horrific at times but it’s also a gripping story that keeps you connected to the end. Afterall, a good story needs conflict, drama, and suspense to keep you riveted to the story. Give me a week, and I’ll upload the second edition. I’m sure you’ll like it.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone. I’m looking forward to a better 2017.
4 : a set of conventions for formatting data in an electronic communications system
5 : a detailed plan of a scientific or medical experiment, treatment, or procedure
Source: keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
Examples
“A protocol that arose from Weizmann Institute of Science, Rehovot, Israel, research has led to U.S. Food and Drug Administration approval of a biological drug for the treatment of a certain form of lung cancer.” — USA Today, 1 Oct. 2016
“Throughout Obama’s first term, critics described him as naïve, particularly in the area of foreign relations—so ignorant of practical realities that he didn’t even understand the symbolic protocols of a state visit. In 2009, when he bowed to Emperor Akihito, on a trip to Tokyo, he was referred to on the far right as ‘treasonous.'” — Jon Lee Anderson, The New Yorker, 3 Oct. 2016
Did You Know?
In Late Greek, the word prōtokollon referred to the first sheet of a papyrus roll bearing the date of its manufacture. In some instances, it consisted of a flyleaf that was glued to the outside of a manuscript’s case and provided a description of its contents. Coming from the Greek prefix prōto– (“first”) and the noun kolla (“glue”), prōtokollongave us our word protocol. In its earliest uses in the 15th century, the word referred to a prologue or preface and also to a record of a document or transaction. In the late 19th century, it began to be used in reference to the etiquette observed by the Head of State of France in ceremonies and relations with other dignitaries. This sense has since extended in meaning to cover any code of proper conduct.
Source: computer.howstuffworks.com
My Take
As a software engineer, programmer and network technician, I live and breathe protocols. In fact, I see the entire world as an intricate pattern of protocols. Every interaction between two things, objects, animals, and people involves protocols.
Think about it. In western culture, shaking hands is protocol when solidifying a deal. In Europe kissing each other on the cheek is a protocol as a greeting or salutation. In the U.S. kissing on the cheek is less common outside the immediate family. In Japan, people bow to each other in a sign of respect when greeting each other.
Source: sbnation.com
In the wild, if you watch the social interactions of a lion pride, you’ll note that there is a pecking order or protocol. A stag will fight another stag to protect his territory from others and to maintain the social order of his does.
In the health industry, there are protocols on everything, right down from triaging an injury to documentation on a case. The NFL recently instituted ‘Concussion Protocols’ to mitigate serious injury in players. Society has protocols on everything, from public nudity to waste recycling to which side of the road one must drive.
Source: naturalhealthprotocol.com
Have you ever dated a person who while during a date will interrupt your conversation to take a call, text or otherwise disrupt the evening? I’ve even heard of people answering their phones & text messages while in the midst of having sex. What kind of shit is that? Leave the phone down and enjoy your partner. The caller/texter can wait.
Then of course, are all the protocols involved with just using a cell phone. Thousands of protocols are used to connect you to your friend or relative, regardless of whether they are in the next room or across the globe. I won’t go into all of them but please believe me, there are a lot.
If you share this post via Twitter, you will receive a sexy bonus picture related to today’s word.
I love learning the different contexts of these words of the day. Do you? Please share your comments. I’m sure we would all like to read them.
Have a great day.
Brought to you by Merriam-Webster, Word of the Day.
Yesterday I wrote to you to let you know that I’m still here, and doing more than just posting my ‘Words of the Day’. Those posts are courtesy of Merriam-Webster, but instead of just reposting posts, I add my thoughts and my takes on the word. I try to find interesting imagery and commentary to support the term. Sometimes, I’ll just say, “I don’t know” and leave it at that. Sometimes, I’ll admit, that I never heard of the word before, or doubt that I will ever use it.
Woman in words 2 by JuanOsborne
What I do find interesting, many words are already a part of my vocabulary or ones where I knew the meaning but not the word itself. Take for example, ‘triptych’. Since I was a young child, I knew of the style and structure of what the term referenced. After all, I grew up with artwork all around my home. Now I know its name. You can be sure that I will find the opportunity to use it.
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Which brings me to the extra that I make available in these posts. If you share the post on Twitter, by clicking my Twitter button, you’ll receive a special, sexier image that I added for my Twitter followers. Try it and you’ll be helping me in the process.
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Source: lifehacker.com.au
On a different topic, I wrote about the publicizing of my posts to the various media outlets. Most of the time, my posts make it to my social media sites. Most of the time, my posts do not make it to my email subscribers. While I’m still upset by the situation, there is little I can do about it for the time being. All I can do is keep on nagging customer service.
Which brings me to their customer service, which I find is supportive and helpful, but their processes and background systems are extremely poor. I’ve worked help desk jobs before. Never in my career as an IT engineer had I ever worked with a system where an email by a customer, referencing their support ticket number would push that communication to the bottom of the queue. Any subsequent emails would push it back down once again. The only way of getting serviced is to send the mail and wait 48-72 business hours before a response.
Yet, I may have uncovered new data which may help the situation but if I try to communicate it to support, my message gets pushed down to the end of the queue. Frustrating to say the least.
Okay, I know I’m ranting, but if you’re interested in knowing who this vendor is, please send me a note.
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I have verified that sending my posts later in the day has a greater level of success of those posts reaching my audience. So, it appears that I’ll have to shift the times I publish to later in the day. Apologies to you early risers or those from Europe and Asia. Rest assured; you’ll be able to read them when you wake up the next day.
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No change on the concussion front, except my doctor has prescribed a new med which could take upwards of a month to determine whether it affects me or not. The nerve block barely made a dent so I’m hoping this has better success.
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On top of it all, I just realized that my site is being attacked, probably with a denial of service attack, at least that is how it appears to me. On the phone right now with my hosting company. Wish me luck.
Per their recommendation, I am implementing tighter security on my site, which I probably should have done months ago. Who knew?
Update: I had to hold off publishing this post until the DOS attack resolved. I think it’s over now. The site appears to be behaving normally once again. Here’s to crossing my fingers.
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I wrote a lot yesterday, finding an opportunity to take the novel from true first person perspective to include action from the antagonists. Soon, I’ll start writing more about this new novel.
Now, it’s time to get back to work. The novel is knocking on the inside of my skull, like a cat, demanding to open the door so it can be let out.
Thanks for reading. Have a great day and a better tomorrow.
p.s. I’ve included a bonus picture when you retweet this post using one of my Twitter buttons.
I know lately, all you have heard from me are my ‘Word of the Day’ posts. I didn’t mean for this to go on so long, my not sharing with you what is going on.
These last many months have been very strange for me. As you may recall, or not and that’s okay too, I suffered a severe concussion at work. That was in mid-July, and I’ve been out of work since then, as I’m still dealing with the after-effects. Now, mostly it’s the headaches and occasional short-term memory issue.
Then, in mid-August, my website began running into problems, which are still going today. It’s mid-November, and the vendor involved still hasn’t fixed it.
Source: lifehacker.com.au
Apparently, I’m not alone with this problem, but I still had to involve my web hosting company and spend hundreds of hours on triaging the problem. Eventually, the company relented and reported that their email administrators had discovered a ‘race’ condition between their mail servers which affected me. I think that the servers are either overloaded or undersized. My tests seem to support that my posts that go out late in the day have a better chance of being delivered to my email subscribers than those that go out earlier in the day. That’s right. Not everyone is getting their mail sent to them. I received this note from them early this morning.
“I’ve let our developers know about this so they can investigate further.”
It’s the same problem that surfaced back in August, and they’re still dicking around with investigating the problem?
Another consequence of my concussion was that for a long time, I was unable to use my computers. Looking at the screen gave me severe headaches. While the headaches remain, I can now look at computer screens without making them worse.
I also suffered from cognitive thinking and short-term memory issues. What really disturbed me was that my continuous stream of creative thinking that was a part of my entire life … disappeared. For months, the imagery that was so much a part of me was gone. I felt like I lost a lover, a friend, a companion, and … well … me.
I tried to encourage its return by editing my first draft of ‘Lucky Bitch’, the third book in my Mona Bendarova Series. That went okay for a while until I discovered that I had to rewrite the ending. I noticed that I had written much of the material included in the last couple of chapters in the first third of the book. What the fuck? I reached out to my beta readers asking for some help, which they graciously gave. However, without a creative stream of thoughts, I couldn’t rewrite the ending, so I put it aside for the time being. Shit. It’s going to be a full year since I published the second book in the series, ‘Broken Steele’. Shit, but I know that there is nothing I can do about it.
So, I kept working on restarting my creative stream. I’m happy to say, about three weeks ago, the creative stream suddenly flared back with a passion. In an instant, a fully formed idea for a new novel, from start to finish, flashed into my mind, demanding release.
Since then, I have been writing up a storm. I’m consumed with trying to get the novel out of my soul and down in print. Every day since late October, I write. Sometimes, only a few thousands of words get written down but often, I get ten thousand or more out. I’ve haven’t checked recently, but I think I’m over 100k words right now and still going.
It’s wonderful to have the stream back. My live-in girlfriend is at times upset with me as I bury myself in my office and write. In the afternoons and evenings, I’ll sit with her. She controls the TV remote while I pick up my laptop and write. She understands but still feels ignored. It’s a delicate balance but the consuming need to express myself outweighs the need to help her feel comfortable. Later that evening, I will put the laptop down and fully dedicate my time to her.
So, I hope to have this new novel out by the end of the year, but we’ll see. It will need severe editing, as I don’t trust my mind right now to keep all of the characters and timings straight. Automatic spell and grammar checking are fantastic, but there are many things they cannot catch.
One thing I have noticed as I write, sometimes I’ll think of a word I intend to write only to look up at the screen and see an entirely different word. Huh? How did I think ‘dog’ and write ‘dolphin’ or ‘plane?’ Yes, it happens, and I can’t seem to correct it. Perhaps my physical therapy which starts next week will help with that. Frankly, I think just writing will ultimately solve that. I just hope that I don’t pass on an incongruous thought to you in my writing. And if I do, I trust that you’ll forgive me.
I had fun looking for images related to my issues. I hope you like the ones I chose, as well as the sexy bonus pic you will get if you share this post via Twitter.
Right now, I need to get back to my novel. Parts of it are still up there in that noggin of mine, demanding a release from its captivity inside my skull. You’ll forgive me if I stop now and return to my novel.
This is Richard Verry, writing to you from my home office. Thanks for caring. I appreciate all of the kind words people have sent to me over these past several months.
It’s been awhile since I wrote. I trust you don’t mind. I do hope you missed me. I originally posted this earlier in the week only to discover that while it publicized to my social media sites, my blog subscribers did not receive it. Here’s hoping it’s been resolved.
The after effects of my concussion limit my screen time, and what’s worse, my creative thinking is at an all time low. Frankly, it sucks. I worry that it won’t return soon.
Will this headache ever go away?
In looking at my notes for story lines etc., I know that I had a good fix on the story line for each of my notes. Now, when I review them, it’s not so clear. It’s scary; that’s what it is.
Instead, I decided to focus my energies on editing the first draft of my latest book, ‘Lucky Bitch.’ Easy enough. I am managing to get through maybe two chapters a day before I have to stop and rest for several hours. That equates to one hour of screen time for every five or so hours of rest. It’s barely enough to get through the day. Even so, I have to take frequent breaks during my screen time to get anything done. Nerve racking, to say the least.
Back to editing. I use the tools I have available to me, read the book, chapter by chapter, fix the grammar, pay attention to the plot lines, verify the continuity of the story and so forth. All well and good. Right?
Okay, so I get to the second to last chapter, and I realize that I have to rewrite the entire section. WTF? The subject outline of the chapter is all wrong. I covered that plot line in Chapter 19, one-third of the way into the book. Oh, shit! What the hell am I going to do now? My creative thought processes are worthless at the moment. I have no doubt that they will return but honestly, when?
Doc told me on Monday that I may be suffering the after effects of this concussion for the next two years. TWO YEARS? Oh, my fricking lord. That, after getting a pair of nerve block injections in the back of my neck in an attempt to stop the headache. So far, I’m on my third day and the headache, while diminished, remains constant.
As I review what I am going to do, I’ve decided this much. I will print out the two chapters and hand them out to my beta readers. I’m going to let them tell me which version they like better. Once done, I’ll incorporate the winner into Chapter 19.
In the meantime, what to do with Chapter 43, the second to last chapter of the book. Chapter 43 is intended as a vehicle to get the main character, Mona, away from home for the day, and acts as a setup for the closing chapter, crucial to the book.
So, that’s where I am. I’m jotting down notes as they come to me. Frankly, they’re not worth much at this point. Maybe I’ll stumble onto something. Either way, it may help in the recovery of my creative thought processes. Damn, I never thought I would miss not having them.
So, until next time, this is Richard Verry, Writer signing off and crossing my fingers to get back to where I need to be. Fans, I love you all. Thanks for your patience.
It’s been awhile since I wrote. I trust you don’t mind. I do hope you missed me.
The after effects of my concussion limit my screen time, and what’s worse, my creative thinking is at an all time low. Frankly, it sucks. I worry that it won’t return soon.
Will this headache ever go away?
In looking at my notes for story lines etc., I know that I had a good fix on the story line for each of my notes. Now, when I review them, it’s not so clear. It’s scary; that’s what it is.
Instead, I decided to focus my energies on editing the first draft of my latest book, ‘Lucky Bitch.’ Easy enough. I am managing to get through maybe two chapters a day before I have to stop and rest for several hours. That equates to one hour of screen time for every five or so hours of rest. It’s barely enough to get through the day. Even so, I have to take frequent breaks during my screen time to get anything done. Nerve racking, to say the least.
Back to editing. I use the tools I have available to me, read the book, chapter by chapter, fix the grammar, pay attention to the plot lines, verify the continuity of the story and so forth. All well and good. Right?
Okay, so I get to the second to last chapter, and I realize that I have to rewrite the entire section. WTF? The subject outline of the chapter is all wrong. I covered that plot line in Chapter 19, one-third of the way into the book. Oh, shit! What the hell am I going to do now? My creative thought processes are worthless at the moment. I have no doubt that they will return but honestly, when?
Doc told me on Monday that I may be suffering the after effects of this concussion for the next two years. TWO YEARS? Oh, my fricking lord. That, after getting a pair of nerve block injections in the back of my neck in an attempt to stop the headache. So far, I’m on my third day and the headache, while diminished, remains constant.
As I review what I am going to do, I’ve decided this much. I will print out the two chapters and hand them out to my beta readers. I’m going to let them tell me which version they like better. Once done, I’ll incorporate the winner into Chapter 19.
In the meantime, what to do with Chapter 43, the second to last chapter of the book. Chapter 43 is intended as a vehicle to get the main character, Mona, away from home for the day, and acts as a setup for the closing chapter, crucial to the book.
So, that’s where I am. I’m jotting down notes as they come to me. Frankly, they’re not worth much at this point. Maybe I’ll stumble onto something. Either way, it may help in the recovery of my creative thought processes. Damn, I never thought I would miss not having them.
So, until next time, this is Richard Verry, Writer signing off and crossing my fingers to get back to where I need to be. Fans, I love you all. Thanks for your patience.
Good morning everyone. As I sit here, at my desk, staring at my screen, I can’t seem to figure out what to write. As I struggle with short-term memory loss and difficult cognitive thought, I recalled a conversation I had the other day with the love of my life regarding a bowl of chocolates.
I think the phrase became popular from the movie ‘Forrest Grump’ though I could be wrong. However, it’s the meaning that I want to comment on. Imagine sitting on your sofa, staring at a bowl of chocolates sitting serenely on your coffee table. The chocolates are the kind that usually come in a box, divided and separated from each other, with different flavors and fillings. You know the kind.
So, the chocolates are sitting there, minding their own business. You sit there, yearning to eat one or two. Yet, there are kinds you know you will like and ones you will not. You’re stuck with indecision, unable to move, fearing that the one you select you’ll spit out.
At some point, you decide to move. Your hand stretches out, hovering over the bowl. Your fingers dangle just out of reach, while you struggle with which one you will choose. I’m sure you know what I mean, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. Sooner or later, desire overcomes your fear and indecision and you decide to take a chance. Popping one into your mouth, you await your fate. Did you chose poorly or did you choose wisely?
Right now, my life is kind of like this scenario. Yesterday, the doctor pulled me from work once again. Apparently, the last two visits revealed one important thing. Everything from my neck down is fine. It’s what’s above my neck that is not. Long story short, I found out that I am currently classified as partially disabled at least for the time being. Oh SHIT!!!!
What suffers most? My thinking processes. Cognitive thought. I use the term cognitive thought again and again but I struggle with just what the definition is. I used to know. I know that. Yet, if I don’t pull out the dictionary to remind myself, I can’t accurately define it. What’s worse? The imaginative, creative thoughts and images that used to flow through my head, remain quiet. It’s very disconcerting and disorienting.
For the next couple of weeks, my doctor intends to send me for more intensive follow-up work. I don’t know what will come of it. Sometimes, I feel like Two-Face. On one hand, they want me to curtail most of my activities and behaviors yet at the same time, I am to exercise my brain. To me, they are at odds with each other so I hope the therapy will clear that up for me.
So, for the short-term, my posts will be limited and hit-or-miss. Hopefully, I can get others to post some guest posts for me and/or get my girlfriend to be my secretary and transcribe my ramblings.
In the meantime, I hope you all have a good day and a better tomorrow.
Yes, that’s right. I’m down for the count and thinking about throwing in the towel.
What do I mean by that, you ask?
Don’t worry. I’m not giving up or anything, except for what pertains to the ramifications of my concussion. As many of you know, I suffered a severe concussion back in July. What I don’t do too much is share my experiences with it. Maybe, perhaps, I should.
For the last week, the headaches have been awful. They have been constant since my original injury and don’t seem to be progressing much. As I have learned more about my condition, I have come to terms that I may be experiencing my symptoms for months to come.
I’ve learned that on the pain scale, they range from a morning waking of 1-2 and generally climb from there. Some days are good, though those are a rarity. Generally, by mid afternoon, it reaches somewhere in the 4-6 range. Frankly, it sucks and I am tired of dealing with it.
My quality of life has suffered. I am still missing work. I’m missing social engagements and family time is suffering as well. I have an extreme sensitivity to light and noise. Cacophonous noise is particularly bad. Cognitive thought is difficult, my handwriting has diminished and my spelling sucks. Thankfully, spell check helps here.
What really is making me nervous is how my thought processes have changed. All my life, images and scenes have flooded my mind all the time. Since my childhood, there’s not an hour of the day where I have not noticed this imagery flowing through my mind. I have written about them in the past as they are a part of me.
And now — they’re gone. I’ve not had an image in a really long time. I miss them.
I need them and want them back. So, I officially know that I am down for the count. I’m considering throwing in the towel. Boxing terms related to capitulation for those who don’t know what I mean.
Why? This past week has been particularly difficult. I barely make it through work and when I get home, all I can do is think about doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Today, Saturday, I literally spent most of the day in my bedroom with the shades pulled and the doors locked. I got up a little while ago and took a shower. That little action has allowed me to write this blog to let you know why I have been quiet lately.
So please, bare with me. This is my issue and I don’t mean to off load on you. However, I thought it important to let you know what is going on with me. Hopefully, I will progress enough to get back into the swing of things.
And please, I need my imagery back. I want to get back to writing. Time is short and I am anxious, nervous and restless. I’ve never rested this much in all my life and I hate it. Back to bed after I send this.
Regards all, and I hope you are all doing well. Till next time ….
To my continuous headache I’ve been dealing with since I suffered my concussion injury last week. Just when I think I’m feeling better, despite continuous rest, my activity levels to extremely low levels, my head simply hurts.
I am beginning to understand that it’s not the mild concussion that I thought it was. It’s more than that. Yesterday, a nurse practitioner told me that she it was a severe concussion. Huh?
Now I believe it. I don’t wish this on anyone. Thank the powers above for my girlfriend, nurse, and sympathetic ear. May tomorrow be better than today.
Good morning world. I’m looking forward to a new week that ends better than the last.
Why? Let me tell you.
Reflective in the title of this post, last Friday, I literally saw stars. No, they weren’t a bunch of five-star reviews of my books. One can hope. No, I didn’t see the stars of the night, sweeping across the sky. I wish it was just this.
Nope, I saw stars when I banged my head against a very large, low hanging pipe designed to carry conditioned air. I was straightening a set of small boxes that I was stacking, knowing that there four hundred similar boxes arriving in moments. Yup! I was at work, doing my job. Mind you, I knew the pipe was there. However, in that moment, bent over focused on my goal, I had forgotten it was there.
Source: 123rf.com
Then I stood up and saw a galaxy of stars.
I wacked my head hard. The room around me went dark and I saw untold stars flashing behind my eyes. Think of a lot of mass against an immovable object. In that split second, as pain walloped my head, my brain bounced around inside my head. Expletives galore rang out as I fell to the ground, supported on all fours.
It was several minutes before I could stand up again. Bent over, recovering, I could only think, “Stupid, I knew it was there. Why the fuck didn’t I move first. ‘Stunad!’ (Italian slang for moron)”
Eventually, I seemed to recover and finished stacking the boxes. An hour later, sitting at my desk, my headache grew, despite the overdose of Tylenol I took to combat what I knew was coming. An hour after that, my thoughts stopped focusing and I knew I was in trouble. I went home early and called my doctor.
A short time after that, I’m in the Emergency Department at the local hospital being treated for a concussion. Oh, how can athletes play their sport with a concussion? It must be the millions they make doing it.
Me, I’ve been suffering everyday since. The headache hasn’t gone away, and I get nauseous getting driven to the pharmacy for meds. I’ve been planted in my recliner, getting up to use the bathroom or getting a bite to eat.
The treatment? Seven to ten days of rest and I can return to work when I am no longer symptomatic. Three days later, and I still am. It’s hard to concentrate just writing this post. Imagine what it would be like at work where my job is to sit at a computer and write code, et. all. Before I lose it, I’ll sign off and find my favorite chair and rest, doing mindless, brainless stuff.
All I can say is thank you to all my fans for reading this. I appreciate you.
However, writing is what I’m doing, as well as catching up on email, social media, connecting with friends and, of course, day dreaming. I’m feeling better, and while my left over concussion headache is still with me, like a squatter who refuses eviction, I have my creative steam back. Ideas are appearing in my head, creating scene after scene that I want to capture, whether for this new book or another. It’s maddening sometimes, I can’t catch them any faster, so I lose them before I can write them down. Damn! I wish I could type at the speed of light.
Here in the United States, we are having our unofficial last week of summer. For those that know our holidays, next week we celebrate the holiday known as labor day, a day set aside to honor the workers of the country. Workers who get things done, often at the behest of others. I count myself in their ranks, never reaching the heights of the one percenters.
To my continuous headache I’ve been dealing with since I suffered my concussion injury last week. Just when I think I’m feeling better, despite continuous rest, my activity levels to extremely low levels, my head simply hurts.
