I’m trying, I really am (repost)

Concussion photo

I’m trying, I really am (repost)

It’s been awhile since I wrote. I trust you don’t mind. I do hope you missed me. I originally posted this earlier in the week only to discover that while it publicized to my social media sites, my blog subscribers did not receive it. Here’s hoping it’s been resolved.

The after effects of my concussion limit my screen time, and what’s worse, my creative thinking is at an all time low. Frankly, it sucks. I worry that it won’t return soon.

Concussion-photo
Will this headache ever go away?

In looking at my notes for story lines etc., I know that I had a good fix on the story line for each of my notes. Now, when I review them, it’s not so clear. It’s scary; that’s what it is.

Instead, I decided to focus my energies on editing the first draft of my latest book, ‘Lucky Bitch.’ Easy enough. I am managing to get through maybe two chapters a day before I have to stop and rest for several hours. That equates to one hour of screen time for every five or so hours of rest. It’s barely enough to get through the day. Even so, I have to take frequent breaks during my screen time to get anything done. Nerve racking, to say the least.

Back to editing. I use the tools I have available to me, read the book, chapter by chapter, fix the grammar, pay attention to the plot lines, verify the continuity of the story and so forth. All well and good. Right?

Okay, so I get to the second to last chapter, and I realize that I have to rewrite the entire section. WTF? The subject outline of the chapter is all wrong. I covered that plot line in Chapter 19, one-third of the way into the book. Oh, shit! What the hell am I going to do now? My creative thought processes are worthless at the moment. I have no doubt that they will return but honestly, when?

Concussion bannerDoc told me on Monday that I may be suffering the after effects of this concussion for the next two years. TWO YEARS? Oh, my fricking lord. That, after getting a pair of nerve block injections in the back of my neck in an attempt to stop the headache. So far, I’m on my third day and the headache, while diminished, remains constant.

As I review what I am going to do, I’ve decided this much. I will print out the two chapters and hand them out to my beta readers. I’m going to let them tell me which version they like better. Once done, I’ll incorporate the winner into Chapter 19.

In the meantime, what to do with Chapter 43, the second to last chapter of the book. Chapter 43 is intended as a vehicle to get the main character, Mona, away from home for the day, and acts as a setup for the closing chapter, crucial to the book.

So, that’s where I am. I’m jotting down notes as they come to me. Frankly, they’re not worth much at this point. Maybe I’ll stumble onto something. Either way, it may help in the recovery of my creative thought processes. Damn, I never thought I would miss not having them.

So, until next time, this is Richard Verry, Writer signing off and crossing my fingers to get back to where I need to be. Fans, I love you all. Thanks for your patience.

Trying, I really am

Concussion banner

Trying, I really am

It’s been awhile since I wrote. I trust you don’t mind. I do hope you missed me.

The after effects of my concussion limit my screen time, and what’s worse, my creative thinking is at an all time low. Frankly, it sucks. I worry that it won’t return soon.

Concussion-photo
Will this headache ever go away?

In looking at my notes for story lines etc., I know that I had a good fix on the story line for each of my notes. Now, when I review them, it’s not so clear. It’s scary; that’s what it is.

Instead, I decided to focus my energies on editing the first draft of my latest book, ‘Lucky Bitch.’ Easy enough. I am managing to get through maybe two chapters a day before I have to stop and rest for several hours. That equates to one hour of screen time for every five or so hours of rest. It’s barely enough to get through the day. Even so, I have to take frequent breaks during my screen time to get anything done. Nerve racking, to say the least.

Back to editing. I use the tools I have available to me, read the book, chapter by chapter, fix the grammar, pay attention to the plot lines, verify the continuity of the story and so forth. All well and good. Right?

Okay, so I get to the second to last chapter, and I realize that I have to rewrite the entire section. WTF? The subject outline of the chapter is all wrong. I covered that plot line in Chapter 19, one-third of the way into the book. Oh, shit! What the hell am I going to do now? My creative thought processes are worthless at the moment. I have no doubt that they will return but honestly, when?

Concussion bannerDoc told me on Monday that I may be suffering the after effects of this concussion for the next two years. TWO YEARS? Oh, my fricking lord. That, after getting a pair of nerve block injections in the back of my neck in an attempt to stop the headache. So far, I’m on my third day and the headache, while diminished, remains constant.

As I review what I am going to do, I’ve decided this much. I will print out the two chapters and hand them out to my beta readers. I’m going to let them tell me which version they like better. Once done, I’ll incorporate the winner into Chapter 19.

In the meantime, what to do with Chapter 43, the second to last chapter of the book. Chapter 43 is intended as a vehicle to get the main character, Mona, away from home for the day, and acts as a setup for the closing chapter, crucial to the book.

So, that’s where I am. I’m jotting down notes as they come to me. Frankly, they’re not worth much at this point. Maybe I’ll stumble onto something. Either way, it may help in the recovery of my creative thought processes. Damn, I never thought I would miss not having them.

So, until next time, this is Richard Verry, Writer signing off and crossing my fingers to get back to where I need to be. Fans, I love you all. Thanks for your patience.

Down for the count

Headache prevents life

Down for the count

Yes, that’s right. I’m down for the count and thinking about throwing in the towel.

What do I mean by that, you ask?

Don’t worry. I’m not giving up or anything, except for what pertains to the ramifications of my concussion. As many of you know, I suffered a severe concussion back in July. What I don’t do too much is share my experiences with it. Maybe, perhaps, I should.

Headache prevents lifeFor the last week, the headaches have been awful. They have been constant since my original injury and don’t seem to be progressing much. As I have learned more about my condition, I have come to terms that I may be experiencing my symptoms for months to come.

I’ve learned that on the pain scale, they range from a morning waking of 1-2 and generally climb from there. Some days are good, though those are a rarity. Generally, by mid afternoon, it reaches somewhere in the 4-6 range. Frankly, it sucks and I am tired of dealing with it.

My quality of life has suffered. I am still missing work. I’m missing social engagements and family time is suffering as well. I have an extreme sensitivity to light and noise. Cacophonous noise is particularly bad. Cognitive thought is difficult, my handwriting has diminished and my spelling sucks. Thankfully, spell check helps here.

What really is making me nervous is how my thought processes have changed. All my life, images and scenes have flooded my mind all the time. Since my childhood, there’s not an hour of the day where I have not noticed this imagery flowing through my mind. I have written about them in the past as they are a part of me.

And now — they’re gone. I’ve not had an image in a really long time. I miss them.

I need them and want them back. So, I officially know that I am down for the count. I’m considering throwing in the towel. Boxing terms related to capitulation for those who don’t know what I mean.

Why? This past week has been particularly difficult. I barely make it through work and when I get home, all I can do is think about doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Today, Saturday, I literally spent most of the day in my bedroom with the shades pulled and the doors locked. I got up a little while ago and took a shower. That little action has allowed me to write this blog to let you know why I have been quiet lately.

So please, bare with me. This is my issue and I don’t mean to off load on you. However, I thought it important to let you know what is going on with me. Hopefully, I will progress enough to get back into the swing of things.

And please, I need my imagery back. I want to get back to writing. Time is short and I am anxious, nervous and restless. I’ve never rested this much in all my life and I hate it. Back to bed after I send this.

Regards all, and I hope you are all doing well. Till next time ….