Cleaning out the fridge.

Today, we were cleaning out the refrigerator. You know how some stuff tends to collect after months. Well sometime ago, a family member brought one of those small little bottles of hot sauce. You know the kind. A single drop goes a long, long way.

So far …  so good.

That is until the bottle falls on its way to the garbage pail. Yup, that’s right, it falls on the floor in the kitchen and the top breaks off. A decent amount spills on to the floor. I picked up the bottle and since it was spilling all over the garbage pail I tried to contain it from getting all over.0

What I did next is what I normally would do in this situation. I dumped the balance of the bottle down the sink to flush it down the drain. Oops. Within seconds, the water mixed with the hot sauce, sending the main chemical in the pepper that makes it hot — air-borne.

Within seconds, it permeated the room. I was breathing it in. It clogged my sinuses, my air ways, my chest. As I tried to wash it down the drain, I touched it with my hands. Hours later, they are still tingling from the pepper sauce.

After sometime, coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose, I thought I was past it and I washed my hands thoroughly. That is until I needed to use the bathroom. Even after washing my hands beforehand, a minute afterwards, my junk started burning. Oh shit! What the fuck!

I’m trying to eat dinner and I can’t stand it. All I can think of is washing my dick. Jumping into the shower, only exasperates the problem. Holy shit. Even the water vapor from the shower is mixing with the remnants of the sauce embedded in my skin. I can’t stand it any long. I turn off the water and dry off. As I’m doing so, my girlfriend who was to this point not involved, runs into the bathroom complaining that it got into her eye.

Oh shit again. Apparently, she breathed in a little bit of the air permeated with the remnants of the smell of the sauce and had to blow her nose. As she blew, it backed up into her eyes and they’re burning. Again, washing doesn’t help but the watering in her eyes eventually settles her down. It took a while and now she’s resting. Now, as I look at her face, it looks like she’s got a black eye, almost as if someone punched her in the face.

An hour later, I’m finally able to think, though the skin that touched the sauce is still burning. The backs of my hands and fingers are still tingling. Her eyes are still sore but we’re progressing.

A word to the wise! Don’t ever … ever spill this fucking sauce. It’s murder.

One thing though. Compared to Jolene, my heroine in the ‘Her Client Trilogy’, I’d rather go through this incidence with the pepper sauce than what she had to endure. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this trilogy. It’s brutal. It’s criminal. It’s savage. By all rights, Jolene should be dead and buried. Somehow, she survives. Read her story and find out how she does it.

Me, I’m glad that I nor any one of my loved ones don’t have to endure either of these assaults. And yes, I consider this episode with the pepper sauce an assault. Why the fuck would anyone want to intentionally want to eat this shit is beyond me.

Hopefully by tomorrow, we’ll be past this.

Oh, and … if anyone wants to come visit us as our house, do not and I mean it, DO NOT bring a bottle of this pepper sauce with you. You will not be allowed in my house. PERIOD.

Don’t even think about it. You hear me! I mean it. DON’T.