I read the following quote the other day on social media. Though I don’t have it as exact as it was written, I know that I’ve captured the sentiment.
“I don’t subscribe to the stuff I write about. I just have a vivid imagination.” – author unknown.
This quote rings clearly in my psyche. The sentiment allows me to explain to people about the stories I invent and capture in my writings and in my artwork. In short, it describes me in a very succinct way. It fits me to a tee.
When you read my books, you will feel the anguish my characters suffer, male and female alike. You will feel what they do as they are tormented, brutalized, sexually assaulted and even killed. You will also live inside the minds of the perpetrators as they deliver their horrendous punishments to their unwilling victims. You will follow along inside the minds of the victims and feel their pain. You will identify with the characters and cringe as they suffer.
While I wrote these stories, I find the behaviors of my perpetrators as disturbing. I strongly believe that the idea of an act of violence against any living being, human or otherwise, as abhorrent. I cannot imagine actually doing the violence I write about. The idea that I can be thought of as someone who does, turns my stomach. I can’t imagine myself forcibly raping another person, man or woman. I can’t imagine myself as a boxer, fighter, soldier or whatever. I just can’t see it. I don’t consider myself a pacifist, I simply abhor the notion of doing violence against another.
Other people have trouble accepting my explanation. Many have said to me “If I can write it, I must be able or willing to do it.” While I understand how they made that leap, I don’t agree with it. I simply have an active imagination and I choose to document the products of my imagination. I will never, ever, do any of these behaviors for real.
What I find most interesting is the more violent the story, the more graphic and brutal it is, the better it sells. Really? I also recognize that either you like the stories or you don’t. There is no middle ground with these stories. They are not for everyone. I’m okay with that.
Whether you believe me or not, I can’t help you. I don’t subscribe, support and live this behavior and that it is just my vivid imagination. If you can’t believe it, then I can’t help you. I can only reaffirm my beliefs and core values do not include this behavior. Those closest to me, my friends, family, and lover know the truth.
In the meantime, as long as people buy it, I’ll continue to write it.