Trying, I really am

September 28, 2016

Trying, I really am

It’s been awhile since I wrote. I trust you don’t mind. I do hope you missed me.

The after effects of my concussion limit my screen time, and what’s worse, my creative thinking is at an all time low. Frankly, it sucks. I worry that it won’t return soon.

Concussion-photo — Will this headache ever go away?

In looking at my notes for story lines etc., I know that I had a good fix on the story line for each of my notes. Now, when I review them, it’s not so clear. It’s scary; that’s what it is.

Instead, I decided to focus my energies on editing the first draft of my latest book, ‘Lucky Bitch.’ Easy enough. I am managing to get through maybe two chapters a day before I have to stop and rest for several hours. That equates to one hour of screen time for every five or so hours of rest. It’s barely enough to get through the day. Even so, I have to take frequent breaks during my screen time to get anything done. Nerve racking, to say the least.

Back to editing. I use the tools I have available to me, read the book, chapter by chapter, fix the grammar, pay attention to the plot lines, verify the continuity of the story and so forth. All well and good. Right?

Okay, so I get to the second to last chapter, and I realize that I have to rewrite the entire section. WTF? The subject outline of the chapter is all wrong. I covered that plot line in Chapter 19, one-third of the way into the book. Oh, shit! What the hell am I going to do now? My creative thought processes are worthless at the moment. I have no doubt that they will return but honestly, when?

Doc told me on Monday that I may be suffering the after effects of this concussion for the next two years. TWO YEARS? Oh, my fricking lord. That, after getting a pair of nerve block injections in the back of my neck in an attempt to stop the headache. So far, I’m on my third day and the headache, while diminished, remains constant.

As I review what I am going to do, I’ve decided this much. I will print out the two chapters and hand them out to my beta readers. I’m going to let them tell me which version they like better. Once done, I’ll incorporate the winner into Chapter 19.

In the meantime, what to do with Chapter 43, the second to last chapter of the book. Chapter 43 is intended as a vehicle to get the main character, Mona, away from home for the day, and acts as a setup for the closing chapter, crucial to the book.

So, that’s where I am. I’m jotting down notes as they come to me. Frankly, they’re not worth much at this point. Maybe I’ll stumble onto something. Either way, it may help in the recovery of my creative thought processes. Damn, I never thought I would miss not having them.

So, until next time, this is Richard Verry, Writer signing off and crossing my fingers to get back to where I need to be. Fans, I love you all. Thanks for your patience.

Star Trek

September 17, 2016

Star Trek

By far and away, my single most favorite television show ever is Star Trek. This summer, it seems everyone is celebrating its 50th anniversary. It seems to me that I am not alone in my infatuation with the show. I’m not going to elaborate on the history of the show, its ups and downs, and all that. Instead, I want to write about how the show affected me over the years.

Both good and bad, the Star Trek has given me great joy and painful memories. I’ve loved the show since it first aired in July 1966. At the time, I was 10 years old and in my television market, the first two seasons aired in the early evenings well before my bedtime. I remember being anxious about the rumors that it was canceled only to be revived for another season due to letter writing campaigns. In its third and final season, the death knell sounded once and for all when it’s time slot shifted to Friday’s at 10 pm. By then, I was 12 going on 13 and my parents let me stay up to watch it since there was no school the next day. But I knew….

It didn’t die, despite what the network executives predicted. To this day, I believe the networks have their heads up their asses. To support my opinion, I use the tragedy of Star Trek as my focal point and argue on.

I will admit, that I can be obsessed with the show. When TNG resumed the adventures of the Starship Enterprise, VCR’s were affordable, and I taped every show. Of course, this elicited many an argument with my wife at the time. She never understood my passion for the show. No matter, she’s history and Star Trek lives on.

Today, with my recovery from my concussion, I am forced to limit my screen time, and when I do indulge, it’s with shows and movies that I already know intimately. It allows me to watch without concentrating and focusing on the screen. So, I’m gorging on watching TOS in order from the first episode to the end. At the moment, I am at the halfway point of season two.

I’ve learned a few things along the way. Scotty can be an ass at times, blatantly disobeying orders from his captain, which he gets away with every time without consequence. What’s up with that? His disobedience even got him killed only to resurrect by the end of the show. Chekov didn’t make his appearance until the second season. Nor did anything related to Spock’s parents. Kirk is Kirk, solves the problem of the day and gets the girl. Uhura, I always liked her but never realized just how beautiful she was. If I had been sitting on the bridge, I would certainly have been distracted by her charm. Spock evolves in each episode, becoming more lovable while remaining distant. ‘Fascinating’ he would say. In short, I am learning a lot about how the show evolved over the seasons.

Yet, for me, it’s less about the characters and more about the ships. When I was a kid, I built and displayed the models. I played with them, staged mock battles and destroyed several of my models, only to rebuild them as quickly as I could. Now that Hallmark produces a new ship ornament, I have collected the entire set and set up a dedicated tree during the holidays so that I can display them. I’ve spent a fortune on them. My girlfriend prefers the characters while I prefer the ships. I get it, but I know she doesn’t. She just accepts it, which I appreciate to no end.

I know the show has shaped me, guided me and helped me. The morals I live by today are rooted in the concepts of the show. Gene Roddenberry wanted to influence people to be better, more understanding and compassionate. He wanted to show that humans have tremendous potential, that we could be better than we were.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but with me Gene, you were successful. You influenced my life many positive ways. Thank you.

Bowl of Chocolates

September 15, 2016

Bowl of Chocolates

Good morning everyone. As I sit here, at my desk, staring at my screen, I can’t seem to figure out what to write. As I struggle with short-term memory loss and difficult cognitive thought, I recalled a conversation I had the other day with the love of my life regarding a bowl of chocolates.

I think the phrase became popular from the movie ‘Forrest Grump’ though I could be wrong. However, it’s the meaning that I want to comment on. Imagine sitting on your sofa, staring at a bowl of chocolates sitting serenely on your coffee table. The chocolates are the kind that usually come in a box, divided and separated from each other, with different flavors and fillings. You know the kind.

So, the chocolates are sitting there, minding their own business. You sit there, yearning to eat one or two. Yet, there are kinds you know you will like and ones you will not. You’re stuck with indecision, unable to move, fearing that the one you select you’ll spit out.

At some point, you decide to move. Your hand stretches out, hovering over the bowl. Your fingers dangle just out of reach, while you struggle with which one you will choose. I’m sure you know what I mean, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. Sooner or later, desire overcomes your fear and indecision and you decide to take a chance. Popping one into your mouth, you await your fate. Did you chose poorly or did you choose wisely?

Right now, my life is kind of like this scenario. Yesterday, the doctor pulled me from work once again. Apparently, the last two visits revealed one important thing. Everything from my neck down is fine. It’s what’s above my neck that is not. Long story short, I found out that I am currently classified as partially disabled at least for the time being. Oh SHIT!!!!

What suffers most? My thinking processes. Cognitive thought. I use the term cognitive thought again and again but I struggle with just what the definition is. I used to know. I know that. Yet, if I don’t pull out the dictionary to remind myself, I can’t accurately define it. What’s worse? The imaginative, creative thoughts and images that used to flow through my head, remain quiet. It’s very disconcerting and disorienting.

For the next couple of weeks, my doctor intends to send me for more intensive follow-up work. I don’t know what will come of it. Sometimes, I feel like Two-Face. On one hand, they want me to curtail most of my activities and behaviors yet at the same time, I am to exercise my brain. To me, they are at odds with each other so I hope the therapy will clear that up for me.

So, for the short-term, my posts will be limited and hit-or-miss. Hopefully, I can get others to post some guest posts for me and/or get my girlfriend to be my secretary and transcribe my ramblings.

In the meantime, I hope you all have a good day and a better tomorrow.

Down for the count

September 10, 2016

Down for the count

Yes, that’s right. I’m down for the count and thinking about throwing in the towel.

What do I mean by that, you ask?

Don’t worry. I’m not giving up or anything, except for what pertains to the ramifications of my concussion. As many of you know, I suffered a severe concussion back in July. What I don’t do too much is share my experiences with it. Maybe, perhaps, I should.

For the last week, the headaches have been awful. They have been constant since my original injury and don’t seem to be progressing much. As I have learned more about my condition, I have come to terms that I may be experiencing my symptoms for months to come.

I’ve learned that on the pain scale, they range from a morning waking of 1-2 and generally climb from there. Some days are good, though those are a rarity. Generally, by mid afternoon, it reaches somewhere in the 4-6 range. Frankly, it sucks and I am tired of dealing with it.

My quality of life has suffered. I am still missing work. I’m missing social engagements and family time is suffering as well. I have an extreme sensitivity to light and noise. Cacophonous noise is particularly bad. Cognitive thought is difficult, my handwriting has diminished and my spelling sucks. Thankfully, spell check helps here.

What really is making me nervous is how my thought processes have changed. All my life, images and scenes have flooded my mind all the time. Since my childhood, there’s not an hour of the day where I have not noticed this imagery flowing through my mind. I have written about them in the past as they are a part of me.

And now — they’re gone. I’ve not had an image in a really long time. I miss them.

I need them and want them back. So, I officially know that I am down for the count. I’m considering throwing in the towel. Boxing terms related to capitulation for those who don’t know what I mean.

Why? This past week has been particularly difficult. I barely make it through work and when I get home, all I can do is think about doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. Today, Saturday, I literally spent most of the day in my bedroom with the shades pulled and the doors locked. I got up a little while ago and took a shower. That little action has allowed me to write this blog to let you know why I have been quiet lately.

So please, bare with me. This is my issue and I don’t mean to off load on you. However, I thought it important to let you know what is going on with me. Hopefully, I will progress enough to get back into the swing of things.

And please, I need my imagery back. I want to get back to writing. Time is short and I am anxious, nervous and restless. I’ve never rested this much in all my life and I hate it. Back to bed after I send this.

Regards all, and I hope you are all doing well. Till next time ….

Happy Monday

September 5, 2016

Happy Monday

Today in the U.S.A., is Labor Day, marking the last unofficial day of summer in my country. It’s starting out as a beautiful day. It’s six o’clock in the morning, the sun is just rising, and there’s dew damping everything not covered. A low fog clings to the ground, trying desperately to hang on to life as the rising sun burns off its moisture. It’s a losing battle and eventually, the sun will win.

It’s wonderful to watch it happen. Life is all around me. Birds have been awake for a while now and later, the insects of the field will being to chirp, giving way to frogs croaking towards the end of the day. I love watching it all happen.

I’m drinking my morning coffee right now, savoring its delicate flavors as sip after sip washes over my tongue on its way to the back of my throat and eventually down. Speaking of coffee, be sure to check out my Twitter poll regarding Cappuccino and vote your preference. I could drink it anytime and I have. However, I surprised to find out that there is a cultural preference as to when it is acceptable to drink it and when not to. Go check it out and see how others are voting.

Well, enough ramblings. I have to get back to enjoying the morning before it slips away. In the meantime, have a wonderful day.

Summer in the City

September 3, 2016

Summer in the City

Do you remember the song ‘Summer in the City‘ by the Lovin’ Spoonful? Every time I hear it, memories of a time long ago flood my mind. But, let me step back a moment.

I was just poking around my computer, checking out sales on my books, checking my social feeds and I was just about to move on to working my second draft of ‘Lucky Bitch‘ when this song came on the radio.

Ah, the radio. Well actually, it’s my satellite music feed that I get through my computer but so what. The concept is the same. Anyway, if you recall the song, it has a distinctive opening note. Actually a chord played on the organ.

Instantly, I was transported back to a time when I was a youngling. The song was released in July 1966 and I was ten years old. By this time, I had my own transistor radio. Remember those? The size of a pack of cigarettes and it ran on one 9-volt battery. That radio lived in my shirt pocket for many years, playing my favorite tunes on AM radio. I could be simply be walking around the outside of my house or playing with my friends and family as my parents watched from a distance. I felt warm and safe. And I had my tunes.

‘Summer in the City‘ is one of those songs I can never get enough of. Today, with the advent of auto repeat, I turn on that feature and lose maybe a half hour of time to my revelry. While I listen to the song, I lose myself in a world of imagination, peace and love, and endless summers without a care in the world.

Later in life, I came to associate the song with the coming of summer when girls appeared, walking around in short shorts, skimpy tank tops and sandals. I couldn’t wait for my first sighting of boobs barely contained behind tank tops and legs that seemed to stretch forever. Hearing the song, my heart would race, imaging sweat beading up on the faces of these lovelies. Eventually, I found my own lovely lady and would kiss those sweet droplets away.

To this day, this song elicits joy in my heart and smiles on my face. No matter what time of year I hear it, I find peace and love in my soul.

What about you? Do you share the same feelings? Different ones perhaps? For different songs? I must tell you, that for me, songs bring out emotions and feelings that I either hate, love or somewhere in between. I can only assume, having no other frame of reference, that everyone shares the same.

This is Richard Verry, writing to you while listening to ‘Summer in the City’, once again set on endless repeat. Peace and love everyone.

Ramblings and such

September 3, 2016

Ramblings and such

We’ve just closed out the month of August and the unofficial end to summer is this weekend. At least in the northern hemisphere. Those down under are about to move from winter to spring. As far as I’m concerned, all good times of years.

I have mixed feelings about the month of August 2016. It’s been one of the hottest on record. Not that I am complaining but it would have been nice to have had a bit more rain. Though, the south-west U.S. could use it more. I just wish I could have enjoyed the warm (hot) weather more. It just wasn’t to be.

Why? Well, as you may recall, I suffered a severe concussion in mid July. (See my post ‘I saw Stars‘.) Since then, I’ve been out of work much of the time, while I deal with the after effects. They include a constant headache ranging from 1 – 6 on the pain scale. I’ve also had to deal with a diminished ability to formulate several sentences together into a cognitive thought. When I write, I often fat fingered my typing or misspell words that I know how to spell. Then there are the times when I can’t think of the word I want to say, even though it is sitting right there on the tip of my tongue. I still have trouble maintaining my balance when standing still.

All of this sucks. I am so tired of the headache. My love tells me that she’d rather deal with the pain of childbirth rather than have the headache I have had for the past seven weeks. I can get irritable, and I’m restless — anxious to get back to a normal life. Most certainly, my quality of life has diminished. All I can do is follow my doctor’s instructions and continue to rest.

“Hey Doc, do you know what it’s like for a writer to deal with growing headaches simply because he’s writing?” Let me tell you all, it sucks. Guess how long it took me to write these short paragraphs. Too long, I tell you. Almost an hour. F*&K.

On a good note, I was looking at my sales figures for the month of August. Pretty decent. Amazon alone posted nearly 300 copies of my books, mostly in the Her Client trilogy. That’s 9.7 books per day. My other outlets also showed good sales figures. I guess word is getting around. Not bad for a new author, considering I published my very first book June 2015. Who knows what will happen in the next couple of years. So …

THANK YOU for reading my stories. It means a lot to me.

Next on my agenda, I plan on posting about my novellas. I haven’t quite figured out what I am going to write about but since they are selling well, I’m thinking you may be interested in how I came to write them, plus I may write about my character development, and so forth.

Until next time, have a great weekend and I’ll talk to you soon. Feel free to write me by clicking on the comment button. I look forward to reading them.

What’s for Dinner?

September 2, 2016

What’s for Dinner?

Without a doubt, after you read ‘The Taste of Honey’, you will know where your next meal comes from. Discover how the human race survives. Envision genuinely enjoying an office meeting. Appreciate & enjoy community sanctioned recreational sex.

Find out what others are saying about this book. Read the reviews on Amazon and on this site. For example, this is what one reader recently wrote, giving the book four stars.

Once I started reading this book I couldn’t put it down. I don’t typically read sci-fi but this author keeps you reading from one steamy chapter to the next. I like reading a book where I can follow the storyline easily and this is one of those books. Perhaps another Stephen King in the making?

Do you agree with the review? Write your own. I would love to read it.

Feel free to comment and agree or dispute my opinions. I love a challenge. Till next time, have a great day!

Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories-4

September 1, 2016

Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories

(Part Four)

What follows is the continuation of an interview I conducted with one of my readers. I captured their notes and turned it into this update to my blog. This is Interview Mona’s Stories part 4.

Q: Speaking of the Doctor. Does he have a name?

A: Of course he does. His name is Doctor.

Q: But that is a title or function of what he does. That’s not a name.

A: In Mona’s society, they are the same. He is the Doctor and his name is Doctor.

Q: Interesting. Fair enough. Tell me about the ‘BLOODLINE’. Can you elaborate on that?

A: The ‘BLOODLINE’ is still a work in progress. I haven’t yet worked out all of the details related to them. Right now, they are an unknown to Mona and her supporters. They have a personal agenda that seems contrary to the society Mona lives in. They have been working on this agenda for at least three generations and frankly, she’s scared.

Q: So, she has no idea of what their endgame is?

A: No, she doesn’t. And neither do I? The ‘BLOODLINE’ was an invention developed in my second book in the series, ‘Broken Steele’ to explain tainted meat and the widespread the effects it had on a significant portion of the society.

Q: So, are the ‘BLOODLINE’ a villain?

A: Could be. I don’t know at this point. But they are a good source for conflict in Mona’s society. For tens of generations, Mona’s community has lived in peace and harmony, everyone knowing their place and everyone contributing to support the whole. Mona was born to a time when this harmony is about to falter, where stress and conflict are being felt for the first time in centuries.

Q: Are you saying that the ‘BLOODLINE’ could be the good guys?

A: Again, they could be. They don’t have to be the power-hungry, arrogant subculture that most of our books and movies assume. They could be advancing their own agenda in attempt to reverse the need to consume their own to stay alive. It remains to be seen as I work out the next couple of books.

Q: So, there are more books in the future?

A: Yes, I have outlines for at least two more books as well as a possible sixth book.

Q: I look forward to reading them.

A: Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy them.

Care to Comment?

Feel free to comment and agree or dispute my opinions. I love a challenge. Till next time, have a great day!

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Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories-3

August 31, 2016

Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories

(Part Three)

What follows is the continuation of an interview I conducted with one of my readers. I captured their notes and turned it into this update to my blog. This is Interview Mona’s Stories part 3.

Q: Do you really believe that once we survive an extinction event, our very nature will be radically changed?

A: Yes, I do.

Q: I am a woman. Am I livestock in your books? A food source for others to consume?

A: I hope not, after all you are a beautiful woman. However, in the society that I have dreamed up, yes you are. In fact, so am I. Everyone is destined to become food and nourishment for others. From the moment of your birth, you will know without a shadow of a doubt, that one day, others will consume your flesh, produce products to stay warm, enjoy life, and fertilize crops with what’s left.

Q: That’s a particularly horrific view of the future.

A: It is, isn’t it. I’m not saying that it will happen. I’m just speculating of what could happen. It probably won’t but it is not impossible. Nature has a way of reorganizing beings to deal with environmental conditions. In Mona’s world, nature is still trying to find a way to circumvent the constraints that man of the past imposed upon it. It may take tens of thousands or even millions of years to settle down. One thing I know, without a shadow of a doubt, nature will always find a way. Biology is a wonderful thing.

Q: So, what’s next for Mona and her society?

A: I’m still writing her story. The one thing about Mona, she is determined to find an alternate food source. She hates the idea of sending off her human stock to the conversion processing to be turned into steaks, roasts, etc. just so that others can live another day. In ‘Lucky Bitch’ she actively stopped the practice within her own household until she found out that her family was slowly starving to death, despite the fact that they were expecting to feed their household. Finding an ally in the Doctor, together they are trying. They may not solve the problem in their lifetime but that won’t stop Mona from trying. She has suburb investigative skills and working with a scientist like the Doctor, there is a chance that something will come out of it.

Care to Comment?

Feel free to comment and agree or dispute my opinions. I love a challenge. Till next time, have a great day!

Opening the mind to what is possible.

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Trying, I really am

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Star Trek

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Bowl of Chocolates

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Down for the count

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Happy Monday

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Summer in the City

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Ramblings and such

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What’s for Dinner?

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Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories

(Part Four)

Q: Speaking of the Doctor. Does he have a name?

Q: But that is a title or function of what he does. That’s not a name.

Q: Interesting. Fair enough. Tell me about the ‘BLOODLINE’. Can you elaborate on that?

Q: So, she has no idea of what their endgame is?

Q: So, are the ‘BLOODLINE’ a villain?

Q: Are you saying that the ‘BLOODLINE’ could be the good guys?

Q: So, there are more books in the future?

Q: I look forward to reading them.

Care to Comment?

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Interview Snippets on Mona’s Stories

(Part Three)

Q: Do you really believe that once we survive an extinction event, our very nature will be radically changed?

Q: I am a woman. Am I livestock in your books? A food source for others to consume?

Q: That’s a particularly horrific view of the future.

Q: So, what’s next for Mona and her society?

Care to Comment?

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